I can’t live without them but they are poison to my progress to my life to my joy to my future.
When ever I’m around them for any span of time longer then 5 minutes my well being unravels
This pathetic life is to stressful they add all this fog.
I always thought it was me
But it’s so fucking clear it’s not
And now I can’t get out of this bc I have not one person to lean on I never really have and it’s not the point.
But I’m sick sick of this life
Sick of the anger sick of the hurt
Sick of this hole I find my self in over and over
Is it so fucking hard for a parent to be supportive when going with their adult child to a neurologist ?
And not to put them in a crazy head space spin them around and wind them up?
Well I guess not listen she had so much on her plate I get it I do but I mean why why why
I can’t rebuild always I don’t have the energy
This family makes me hate my self makes me hate people makes me hate the world
No one understands who knows me
I feel guilty for not being a better person I feel guilty for being a fucking waste of life
I feel like an ass for trying and trying
Dear god take this rock out of my chest
Take this negativity away
Please don’t let it ruin this too
I’m fucking trying for the love of god I’m trying to please leave with this posting please it will give me a few hours to get done what I need to get done please