• its time

    by  • March 3, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    This is a letter I would never send and I know the person its meant for won’t read it, and I’m OK with it.

    To You,
    It’s been quite a few months since we last spoke. Although I have tried to get a hold of you through texts, and phone calls, you never answered me back and that’s OK. I have come to the conclusion that the lesbian life was just a curiosity to you and once you found out what it was like, you were done with me. We had said we were best friends and that our taking things further wouldn’t ruin things, it did or you just really didn’t see me as a best friend to begin with. I sat and thought about what it was that I could have done to make you leave. It took me a lot of reflection just to come up with, you just were curious about it all then decided to get on with your life. Hey I will be honest and say I fell for you hard,deep,and fast. I would say that I had fallen in love with you, truly. When you left I was heart broken. I also was dealing with the loss of my child’s father at the same time. My life was turning upside down. I could have used a best friend at the time but you weren’t there you had already left me. It took quite a few months to start letting go. You made me have no choice but to move forward and learn to live without you in my life. It was the most difficult thing I had ever had to do. I’m glad you were able to just walk away and have no problems with it. It is easier for the person who cuts contact because they ultimately are the ones in control and they did what they wanted to do. For all I know you knew you were going to leave me for quite some time, so you had gotten use to the idea already. I still do miss you and am here for you no matter what. I made that promise and will keep it even if you never need me again for anything. I haven’t dated any other females since you and I. I am still with my boyfriend. I don’t plan on marrying him anytime soon. To be honest I had enjoyed living on my own and got use to it because I did it for 3 years. I just may get my own place again. I start my job soon and I am starting to really make plans to be independent again. I do want to find a female companionship again. I truly love the way it feels to be close to a female. Now that I know you are truly done with me and I have healed some, maybe its time I start looking again. You were the first female in years. To be honest it had been 12 years since I had been with a female. Not because I wasn’t into it, but because I won’t get with a female unless I truly have feelings for them and that’s rare. You were perfect! You were everything I would want in a female companionship. I still miss you a lot. But I have accepted you want nothing to do with me. I am not mad at you, I don’t dislike you. I don’t know if it’s possible to meet another woman that I can click with so well, but I do think its time to get back out there and see. I find myself craving a woman’s touch, closeness, and emotional bonding. I do hope your doing well and are happy,healthy,and living life. I want to thank you for the time we did have together. It is one of my favorite chapters I’m my life’s story. I do believe we met for a reason even if it was for a short time. I had a blast and am honored to have met such an awesome,beautiful, smart, funny, loving person. I truly hope the best for you, and know that you do still hold a special place in my heart and always will.

    Love Always,
    B….

    2 Responses to its time

    1. Blue
      March 3, 2016 at 12:11 pm

      Have you ever seen a film called:

      Blue Is the Warmest Colour (French: La Vie d’Adèle – Chapitres 1 & 2)?

      Please do, it is about the most beautiful, sad, yet magnificient love stories, I tink you would relate to the main character, Adele.

      One of the Cannes Film Festival jurors who awarded this film a price (despite some nudity) was S. Spielberg, he said it is a film he would show to his teenage children as a magnificent example just how bitter sweet love can be as an adolescent.

      Wishing you good luck!

    2. B....
      March 4, 2016 at 4:53 pm

      I saw some of it. I would be the blue haired one. Lol
      There is this lady that is interested in me, but I haven’t been interested since my break up with my ex girl, I was needing some time to heal and I was in hopes that maybe my ex would come around. Now that I know she has made it clear that she is done with me, I have found myself wanting to get back out into the socializing scene and find someone I click with. Next week I got invited to a dinner theater and comedy club I’m going to go just to have fun, I’m not going to rush anything although she’s been ready for awhile. She is 43 and I’m 39 so we are close in age. To top it off she is funny and very pretty. She also already has been with women before so it wouldn’t just be just curiosity with her. I had met her at benchmark electronics when I had worked there. We have kept in touch, but mainly by phone. I told her I was ready to get back out and start socializing, she called today and had already bought us tickets. I’m looking forward to it. I find myself being a little nervouse, I told her I wasn’t expecting anything and that I just want to go have fun. She seemed cool with that. I am going to be cautious, I have learned a lesson Lmao….

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