• Voicemail.

    by  • February 25, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 1 Comment

    Hey you,

    The other day I had a meltdown; a complete and utter meltdown. Wanna know why? Because I listened to a voicemail from a year ago and realized the person I missed more than anything was that person I heard on that voicemail. I never realized that listening to something as little as a voicemail could make your heart hurt so badly. I mean it’s just a recording of somebody’s voice, right? Well wrong. For some reason, hearing your voice the other night took me back to a time when this pain I feel everyday wasn’t even a thought. I miss that, ya know? I miss that feeling of complete serenity. This particular voicemail was just an everyday occurrence; I was at work and you had called telling me you were sorry you missed my call before you went into work, and that you loved me and would talk to me when I got out. Oh and also “have a great day”. All of those things you said was something I haven’t heard in such a long time from you. Instead it turned into me calling you before and after work and only receiving annoyed you wondering why I was calling in the first place. Endless excuses not to talk to me because you were tired, cranky, busy, etc. What happened to you? The sweet, kind, loving, encouraging man that I knew? The one I spent 2 years with. There’s one more thing; When I listened to this voicemail, I finally for once realized that this wasn’t my fault. I have blamed our breakup everyday on myself constantly wondering where I went wrong and picking myself apart everyday trying to fix my imperfections. I will no longer do that, L. I can’t. One day I hope you realize that the reasons things happened the way that they did was because YOU changed. I have no idea why but you did, and that is the most tragic part of this entire situation. Your once loving, open arms, reliable demeanor vanished and was replaced with a stone cold vibe. You stopped choosing me. And just like you said the night we broke up, you stopped missing me. And that’s okay, because I know that I am somebody that is worth missing. I know I am a person who is worth all of it. I hope you find that wonderful, sweet, kind-hearted man that once left me that voicemail. Because that man is somebody the world deserves to see every single day.

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    One Response to Voicemail.

    1. I miss your voice too
      February 26, 2016 at 4:05 am

      Those phonecalls & texts made my day. Everyday. Why I changed, to wonder still means you never knew the real me. You hurt me so much & acted like it was nothing. I voiced my feelings so often & to be told it was all me. That was the beginning of the end, for I felt it a one way street & it was for I had to fit into your schedule. I should have walked when I first did. I was never like this before & yet I believed in you. The more I tried the further your distance & so silent. Calls not answered, never available, everything my fault & so many tears, more tears than a lifetimes. I lay no blame for I allowed it to happen & it’s a lesson I’ll never forget. I’m healing still & happier again for this week I set myself free. You are a amazing woman & that very day you changed is why I followed suit in opposite directions. We are love & we both fucked up & this is for the best. Fairwell.



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