I’m writing this letter to two popular sports figures of today. Obviously, neither will ever see this. But they’ve both been pissing me off lately and I need to vent.
To Cam Newton:
You are a fucking baby. You led Carolina to a 17-1 record going into the Super Bowl, and won the MVP along the way. Millions of young fans dab in your honor. You caught heat all year for your touchdown celebrations, but as you said, if they dont want you to dance they shouldnt let you score.
That was all well and good during the regular season. You truly had a historical season. But we start going into the playoffs, and all of a sudden you allege that the criticism you’ve received is because you’re black. Not because you were kicked out of Florida for stealing a laptop. Not because your Heisman winning year at Auburn was mired in a scandal revolving around you ‘allegedly’ seeking large cash payments from whichever college you would transfer to from the JUCO you played at. Not because in your 5 NFL seasons you have yet to exhibit even the faintest shred of humility (not to mention an utter lack of remorse over your actions in college). Not because you named your newborn child “Chosen”, because you are clearly some sort of Messiah. No, simply because you are black, and this is still the 1960s or 70s apparently, and black professional athletes just cant get any respect. Clearly, that is the only reason you have any critics, because of your skin color. I mean, thats the exact same reason Johnny Manziel has faced so much criticism, right?
And then the Super Bowl. OH MY GOD. Watching you flailing around at the end of the game like you had some kind of palsy was the most pathetic thing Ive ever seen in sports. I dont even care that much about the press conference right after the game. But the fumble, with 5-6 mins left in the game, with the game on the line, that you just stood by and watched Denver recover…completely unacceptable for any player playing on the biggest stage. There were roughly 100 players involved in that game, and every single one of them (except you apparently, the QB of the losing team) would’ve given everything they had to recover that fumble. But, for you, ‘the angle of my body…I would’ve gotten hurt…cuz you know I have to play another game 8 months from now.’ Honestly, probably the most cowardly thing Ive ever seen in sports. And, in the aftermath, you just made excuses. And even worse, so many commentators defended you afterwards. Because, you know, the racially based criticism against you is just so unfair.
To Ronda Rousey:
You are literally a pioneer in women’s sports. Not just in MMA, but in all women’s sports. No woman athlete has ever achieved the fame and fortune you have. And when you just kept winning, you were all about proclaiming your greatness and taunting male fighters like Floyd Mayweather, persistently discussing his past women-beating ways. You know, despite the fact you repeatedly beat the shit out of a former boyfriend. You were being touted as the Michael Jordan of women’s fighting sports.
And then you lost. No, you didn’t just lose, you got your ass kicked. Actually, more like your face. And then you go into hiding. And whatever, maybe you just needed some time off. I don’t think anyone could have held that against you. And then you’re on Ellen the other day, three months later. And you essentially said that after you lost your very first MMA fight, that you ‘felt like a failure, contemplated suicide, but then decided against it because you wanted to give your boyfriend a baby’.
I have even less respect for you now than Cam Newton. And thats like saying I dislike cockroaches more than mosquitoes. Because young boys have so many male professional athletes to look up to, but for girls, you are by far and away the most popular choice. And you know what, we all feel like failures sometimes. Shit, if I took your advice, I mean, Im not planning on having babies anytime soon, so, even if I was a cat with 9 lives, I’d have been dead a long time ago. Thank God I’m not an impressionable young girl.
To both of you fucking disgraces:
Losing is a part of life. Criticism is a part of life. Yeah, its sucks that your failures are so publicly broadcast, but you know, when I feel like shit, I dont get to go film a commercial for Gatorade or paint my naked body for a SI swimsuit cover the next day and get paid millions of dollars. And yeah, you’re human. But the level of your personal responsibility skyrockets when you have generations, literally millions of fans following your every move.
Anyone can be a good winner. Honestly, that isn’t difficult at all. But NOONE likes to lose. And because we all do from time to time, you can tell so much more about a person’s character from the way they react to failure. Neither of you possess any class or any dignity. I honestly hope you both fucking disappear to some faraway island where you can bitch and moan all day to your heart’s content about how difficult your life is as a multimillionaire professional athlete.
You both want to be ‘like Mike’. You know what he said?
“I’ve missed more than 9000 shots in my career. I’ve lost almost 300 games. 26 times, I’ve been trusted to take the game winning shot and missed. I’ve failed over and over and over again in my life. And that is why I succeed.”
You both fucking disgust me.