• Lexi

    by  • February 16, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Pets • 0 Comments

    I’ve never done anything like this before, writing a letter about my feelings. I’ve always felt like I could deal with my feelings and never needed to talk to a counsellor. My mom suggested I should, after the accident happened. Now, this accident was about a dog, so if you don’t want read on, nows your chance to walk away. Lexi was my 2 year old boxer dog. It was the 30th of August 2015. I had to go into school later that day to get my books and locker. My mam came home from work and let Lexi out to go to the toilet. We live close to a farm/steelyard and we were always, always careful to make sure Lexi was always from lorries or tractors in the yard. I was making breakfast, I was getting toast, but it burnt. My mam and I heard our neighbours sister or some relative shouting for her husband. My first reaction was “has one of her children fell it got hurt” then I realised Lexi was no where to be seen. My mam called her and whistled for her but she wanted me to go over to the entrance of the farm to see if she was in the sheds. I didn’t want to, in case something was wrong. Funny how the mind works. My mam when out and when I heard her scream I knew. I ran out the back of the house towards the farm and met my mam carrying Lexi, covered in dust, blood dripping from her mouth, ears and eyes. I screamed, my mam was screaming to call the vet, my legs turned into jelly, I don’t know how I ran back to the house. I don’t know how I did, I don’t know how the vet understood me, all I kept thinking was not again. You see, I had lost a previous dog before Lexi, a 1 year old boxer called Roxy in a freak accident 2 years before. My mam put Lexi in the jeep, I got towels, blankets, anything I could find. I climbed in the back of the jeep, beside Lexi. I cradled her up into my arms, pleading with her to stay with me, I kept her head on my lap, trying to keep her airways clear of the blood. She kept making some gurgling noise. I kept telling her I loved her and calling her name. I’m not a religious person, but I did pray then, not to take her away. When we got to the vets, it was too late, she had died in my arms. Everything after that was a blur. The vet told us our opinions, whether we wanted a burial or cremation, but all I wanted was my dog back. We took her home, wrapped her in her blanket and my mam asked my uncle to bury Lexi, neither of us could do it, it hurt to much. My mam told me to get a shower, my hands and clothes were covered in blood. She went to comfort the woman who killed my dog. She was driving out of her house, down to the farm, in her Range Rover jeep. She never liked out family so we don’t know whether she hit Lexi deliberately or not, but her front and back tire went over Lexi, and she reversed over her also. My mam nor myself never got an apology for what she done, and all she had to do was say ‘I’m sorry’ but that never happened. To her, Lexi was a dog, a mungrel, waste of space, but to me, our family, she was part of the family, she made it complete. You could say this letter is trash, but I needed to write this, I can’t keep my anger lock up, it’s too much. Anytime I see that woman drive in my town, school, you see Lexi covered in dirt, and blood coming from her mouth and knowing that she died in my arms, all because of that woman disliking my family and being to selfish and careless, she was going way too fast in a farm, where her family’s children could have been. If it was a child, it would be a different story, but to me Lexi was family and always will be part of my family, and Roxy too. People may find this letter useless, but after finishing it, I feel like a weight has been lifted, I don’t know if this will have worked, but it was work a try. Thank you.

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