• I am sorry I could not remain perfect.

    by  • February 14, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    You have broken up with me, 3 days before Valentines day. Of course it hurts. Yes we really have just become friends, but you are not even being my friend right now. You have been turned away by another’s words. Not by my actions or words but those of someone else. By someone who has become obsessed with me. By a person who is trying to hurt me and is succeeding. There was no hug when I left today, I could not even look you in the eyes because I could not stand to show you my pain. Yes, I did make a mistake, but you said you understood that I was not in my right mind, pills and alcohol can do that, and do not even remember what happened. I thought it was a dream, not that it actually happened. You of all people should understand that. I have put up with your drunken behavior for all this time. I have helped you and supported you even fed you and your adorable puppy. Today I sat on your bed and cried as I told her that I will miss her. I just had to wait out the tears after writing that. I am torn up, mourning the loss of the closest friendship I have had in a long time. Why we called it more than a friendship, when in the end you admit that you were never actually attracted to me, escapes me. You lied to me for over a year about that. Why would you do that? I guess that I have far too many unanswered questions to just be ok with this.I put more work into our relationship than I have ever put into another. And now, you have turned against me. I am sorry that I could not go without sex for over a year. I am sorry that I took pills and drank and was highly encouraged to do things that I do not even remember. Mostly, I am sorry that, after all that has been between us, the backstabber means more.

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