I admire your tenacity. Your ability to keep picking us up in order to keep carrying on in the face of factors that should cripple us and leave us crawling in the dirt. You are a wonderful part of my existence.
In this particular area you are slowly killing me. Your persistence in believing there is something to feel happy and optimistic about, and trying to find the tiniest sliver of evidence that will lead to me supporting your faith that all will turn out as I desire just leads to me feeling crushed time and again when all the other evidence tells me otherwise.
I cannot keep swinging from high to low and back again in an never-ending cycle. It is terrible for my emotional, mental and physical health. This is a hunger that will never be satisfied, and I need to accept that.
Please leave me be to grieve for what I cannot have. Just leave me down here in the dirt. Let me bury this desire, and all the delusions I have built upon it. Then we can finally leave it behind and carry on pursuing life’s adventures together.