I was actually looking back through my phone at my health app, trying to get a handle on when things really got out of hand for me. The depression last year because of all we have been going through, killed me. I just wanted to to pin point the beginning. Which I was sure happened around the time the new girl showed up. I was right. My ability to give a damn about anything, slowly went out the window. I stopped doing things I loved, I stopped working out, I started drinking more. A lot more.
My weight slowly started to increase. I was insecure about it before, but then, it got worse. You constantly said it wasn’t that. It didn’t matter what I weighed, but I always knew it wasn’t true.
While I was looking back, I saw the date when things started to change. Normally, you would never have pushed me away, or let me walk away. But with your new side chick having a way hotter body, (even if she does look like a female Jay Leno) I couldn’t compare or measure up anymore.
July. July was when my weight got too heavy. And I have gained since. And your interest had fallen by the wayside as I got heavier. And even now, you push me away further.
But it’s ok. Really. Because I have a handle on this depression now and I am coming up out of the fog. I will get the weight back off by summer and you will wonder what happened when your texts and calls go unreturned.
Thanks for NOT standing by me when YOU caused me to have such a hard depression. Thanks for making sure I knew exactly where I stood. Thanks for the lies. Thanks for the cheating. Does your new main know that her side position is open? She may want to worry.
Thanks for four years of nothing.