I hope you’re doing well. I’ve been trying to reach out to you. Either you’re just ignoring me or you blocked my number, either way, it doesn’t appear as though you want to talk to me. Its making me really sad. I miss you so much. I don’t know what I did for you to hate me like this. I feel like all I ever did was love you, as well as I could. Was that really so offensive to you? Was the mere presence of me in your life such a burden you decided to neglect my very existence? I have so many questions, but really I just want you back in my life again.
I saw you again last night, in my dreams. I don’t dream much anymore; when I do its usually about you. Not much happened. It seemed like you were ignoring me, and I just really didn’t know what to say to you. But we were together, in the same physical space, and so I woke up happy.
That’s the only way I get to see you anymore. I remember New Years 2015. I hadn’t seen you for about 8 months. I wrote a letter here, I prayed to God that I could just see you once in 2015. And well, I did get to see you, exactly once. That was such a disaster in my mind. I mean I was so happy to see you and talk to you again. It went so much better than the last time I saw you. But I haven’t seen you since, and I’m back to feeling like I never will again. I wish I could do that night over again, there’s so many things I wish I had said to you.
Like that I still love you, no matter how long its been, no matter how much you’ve hurt me. I love you despite the fact you abandoned me, despite the fact you perhaps never had any feelings for me at all. I cant help it. If someone told me this story from their perspective, I would tell them that they were crazy and they need to move on. But I cant. I have never loved anyone or anything the way I love you, and I don’t think I ever will.
Anyways, again I hope you’re doing well. I’m sure I’ll text you some more this week when I can think of something good to say.