• Progress.

    by  • February 6, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    We’re making progress ya know.
    Each time you slightly make contact with my chair, i notice.
    When you hand me my book i notice. I see when you do these tiny little things.
    These things kill me. Every time you hand me something or get near me i freeze. I cringe because i know that it’s been so long. And I’m most definitely not over you.
    We talked today. Well, associated more.
    You asked about something, and i answered.
    So be it.
    It is still progress.
    Once you went away, i died a little.
    But i told myself, i’m okay. i know that i am okay. so lets just act like i am totally not still in love with you.
    I thought about it today.
    How we thought we’d stay friends because i wouldn’t let us get torn apart.
    But somehow i did let it happen. I let a silly love access my friendships.
    I miss being friends with you.
    I miss talking like friends.
    I miss being able to actually laugh at a joke around you.
    I don’t want you to know that i’m not okay. But you probably do know that.
    I’m a piece of shit for saying this, but it’s your fault.
    You never stopped me.
    You never tried to only stay friends.
    And yeah, i’m dumb because i didnt see the signs.
    But i can’t handle this any more. I want to handle it. It just kinda kills me. It crushes me.

    i am really tired
    so i suppose i shall sleep

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