This is something so delicate and fragile that I feel as though if I even breathe in the wrong direction everything will fall apart.
You can try and hide it as much as you want, but at this point, it’s something we both know and something needs to be done about it.
I realize I’ve always felt this way, I just never admitted it to myself. Until yesterday.
I really never thought about just how compatible our personalities really are. We click as though we were always meant to be together. Our energies together make everyone very much aware that there is more between us then we would admit.
It was his day, and me and you were at his house. Just the three of us. She had gone home, so you didn’t have her there. He was cuddling up to me on the couch, but I felt myself moving closer to you. And you did the same. Soon I had moved to the middle to be closer to you.
Next thing you know, it really seemed like we were cuddling. And then when I had stood up and came back into the room you were laying on the couch. And I just sat there next to you, and played with your hair. Your lovely, soft, blonde hair that I just felt between my fingers as you didn’t even move.
I felt bad for him, my supposed “boyfriend” even though I obviously don’t feel for him what he feels for me. What I feel for you. He was jealous beyond words, but that wasn’t my intention. I was just doing what I felt like I was supposed to do.
I’ve never loved anyone fully, it’s always been a one foot off the ground situation, always unsure. But you. I’m sure of. You’ve shown me signs and signals and I believe whole heartedly that you feel the same.
But what to do about it?
This is risky. It truly is walking on egg shells. She would hate me forever. To steal her true love from her, all from our feelings getting in the way.
But I am willing to risk it. I am willing to risk it because you are who I feel something for. I want to be with you. And I’ve never meant that in any other situation.
And when we were in the car, we were so close to holding hands, but both of us too timid, both of us too scared. To embark on our feelings is to cause a potential war. To hurt our friends. Our “significant” others. Who we both know we don’t feel enough for, not what we feel with each other.
At your house, when you hugged me, it was different, you spoke my name in a tone that spoke words that didn’t need to be said. Not at this point in time.
What’s scary, is I know this isn’t one sided.
What’s even more scary, I could lose everyone just to have you.