• Mind the Gap

    by  • February 3, 2016 • * Safe for Work *, Waxing Poetic • 5 Comments

    Sometimes I just want to be alone.
    Sometimes, I just want to be with myself.

    Other people are frightening.
    Other people can say things,
    cold things, apathetic things
    hurtful things
    and you can’t stop them.

    Other people can open their mouths,
    and sounds roll out that make you feel like you’ve been cut down.

    Sometimes I just want to be alone
    Just to know that will never happen again.

    Other people can lie to you,
    promise you things they can’t give to you
    walk away and leave behind silence
    leave behind questions
    and you can’t answer them.

    other people can pack up their uninsured presence;
    a suitcase that got lost in transit

    then you wonder if it’s worth it
    and you stare at the empty driveway
    clean the kitchen again for something to do
    use scalding water on the rim of their coffee cup
    and you think that no, it’s not.

    Sometimes I just want to be alone.

    But then, there’s you.

    and I don’t want to risk all of those things.

    I don’t want to have to trust that you won’t do them.
    I don’t want to feel small if you do.

    But I like the way you always manage to find the one thing that’s lying on the floor and trip over it.

    I like the way you walk, and the way you look when you wear my glasses around the house.

    I like the way you smile and then try to hide it, and the way you hold my hand, and I like your messy hair and your pajamas on Saturday mornings.

    I like the way your mouth curves up when you kiss me.

    I don’t know if I like the way I’m feeling
    like it might be worth it to try.

    Like maybe I don’t want to be alone.
    Not if I can be with you instead.

    I don’t know if I like that.

    My head’s screaming, you never learn your fucking lesson.
    My heart’s screaming, what if it’s different this time.

    So I’m standing on some ledge
    waiting to jump

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    5 Responses to Mind the Gap

    1. @aurthor
      February 3, 2016 at 3:42 pm

      Jump! I will catch you! Please

      Love you always


    2. To You
      February 3, 2016 at 7:12 pm

      I don’t understand what your going through. I want to. I personally am the type of person who has never cared about what people think of me. But then there is that one acception You! I care what you think of me! There is a bond between us that no one in this world has but us. Right now I picture you in a rough state. Your not eating Good, hour anxiety is through the roof high, I don’t know if you self harm but I know that’s a possibility! I know what I would probably see when we meet and it’s going to be tough to see! But to me your still going to be beautiful you! I love you for you! This situation is not beyond fixing. But you have to give us permission to fix it honey. I am here for you when things are tough! If you need money I can get you some…. I want us to be able to work at fixing it. I need your permission to do that! We will take it slow. It’s not something we can fix over night! In order for you to give me permission you are going to have to trust me. I am not going to hurt you or leave you! You need help and I want to be the one to help. There isn’t a person in the world who doesn’t have to deal with anxiety and depression at one point or another in life and need help getting out of it! Ive been there a few times and it is a scary place to be. Please take my hand and accept the help up, because someday I will need you to do that when Im down and out! That’s what partners do! You have a partner for life I don’t know if it’s a best friend level or a commitment relationship that is something we find out along the way! I know Im truly in love with you and want to protect you! So Will you please take the jump and let me catch you!


    3. To You
      February 3, 2016 at 7:27 pm

      Nothing can change what I see in you! If anything this situation has made me learn a lot about you! If anything Its made me fall more for you. It’s funny how true love works. When I say unconditional I mean it! I am a person who doesn’t beat around the bush so to speak, if you remember I speak open and honestly.

      Your Girl Always


    4. notOP@To You
      February 4, 2016 at 8:06 am

      Thank you for posting.


    5. Sense 8
      February 5, 2016 at 8:19 pm

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