Be over by now
Or so people say.
But alas, that seems a mere fantasy
Or a fantasy at least it should be
But not to me.
To me it is no more than a nightmare.
For you see,
Every day i still wake to your face
And even as the night drawns near
You just pop in.
Welcome yet, unwelcome.
You knock at my door
A visitor, just as I.
But you are a visitor that I wished to stay…
Is shouted across the lands.
But i am at a loss.
Where all the ways are drapped in darkness,
All the same, the best, would just be a guess.
So fast, good intentions a second passes its gone.
As useless as a car with no wheels
At a standstil with nowhere to go
Every way i turn, a blockade
Too tall for me to climb.
Lost with so many road to choose
Stuck here naked, i am on view, an exhibition for all to see, each bone, each muscle, each imperfection, each thought and every inch of skin.
My little voice of reason and determination has gone on a quick vacation.
Every attepmt leads me deeper into the darkening cave all i can do is…
Just wait it out!
Let the draught of reason pass,
Let the storm of self-mutilation end
And the rains of reality hit my soul.
Let it bring back my belief to sow it’s seeds again.
Yet through the darkness i saw you.
A path, a passage!
Even when you do not shine so bright.
I still walk that path in darkness.
I may trip and i may fall
At times i may even have to crawl.
But you showed me more than i have ever seen before.
You showed me more of your path than anyone of note.
I hope that fact still guides you on a path of brighter affairs.
But i at least know not all of your days are filled with blue skys and clear days, but thats okay.
I will never judge you as i always said and with that tune in mind, i will always admit to you;
Even now as this day fades into night, you fade not from my mind.
Never has a day passed when i have not wanted to see your face.
You may not want me now but please know that you made me feel like no other.
Like i could touch the sky, fly with the birds, and dive as deep as dolphins.
Even to this day.
I know we have both done wrong.
I am not perfect and not every action is persise.
For that i am sorry.
But i could never stay mad at you or truly walk away from your side.
I am here, and here i will be, for all you did for me.
The day you left I took my first step into the unknown,
Planned for weeks.
A place of white walls, white ceiling and white doors, no locks, bare.
The room was as bare as i felt within those four walls.
I was fearful of telling you about the path i was choosing.
Who would want such a broken soul, i thought.
Just as i penned the words to tell you,
No sob story, no blame, no hatred, just honesty pure and simple.
You were no longer by my side.
We share many a characteristic that we keep hidden from prying eyes, those that jugde and damm.
I told you briefly i have been privy to some unfortunate events.
But unlike you, i have no name for mine at this time.
To let someone in seemed pure insanity as my silence had saved my life before or a least silence of what i was truly feeling.
If i had spoken my mind or simply moved one muscle.
I would not be here to write this.
Knives can be very sharp as you well know.
Yet I trusted you with my words..
I should have stayed as silent as the whipped dog I used to be!?
From the one you called yours.
I will carry on walking my path but still I long to hear your voice call from beyond.