• After-hours Analysis

    by  • November 22, 2015 • Love - Pure and Simple • 7 Comments

    So again…here I am writing to you at 1am. What a mess it is. I was just thinking back to the first letter I ever wrote to you. Before we were even really close. I wrote thanking you for being there even in a silly stupid way when I needed to feel human. You saw me. You really fucking saw me from the first real conversation. I can’t describe what it feels like to know someone can almost read your mind when you’ve only just met.
    Then it grew from there. Our friendship. Into what we have now. It is wonderful and meaningful and again you are there for me. And always You make me feel human.
    But more than that you see past what I am right now to what I could really be. Who I want to be. You encourage me and believe in me and push me outside of my comfort zone. You have helped me realize a dream that I put to sleep so long ago and now because of you I am achieving it.
    You always say I’ve done so much for you. I feel like its a pretty bleak comparison.
    And I can’t say it. I can’t tell you what this means to me aside from a few little thank you hugs and some fucking smily face emogis because if I start to open up then I know you will see all of it. Because you know me.
    That I love you.
    That being your friend is wonderful and difficult all at once because when I close my eyes I still see that alternate universe.
    Where my days and nights are filled with you and snuggling on the couch and watching dumb movies and making awesome music.
    And I could be happy in this universe. You are happy in this one. I have parts of this life that I love and obviously I am committed to maintaining it but I feel like I’m constantly walking around while a little piece of me is somewhere else until I’m with you.
    And then all is right with the world.
    And my mind doesn’t have to wander because it has found a resting place.
    Then there’s the fucking palpable chemistry.
    You make my very blood run hot.
    We have discussed it. We are being careful but damn I want to wrap myself around you so badly it aches. Feel your lips on mine. Feel your hands on me. It’s woken me up from a dead sleep.
    You are not the one that got away. You are the one I’ll never have. The could’ve been.
    But no matter what I’m greatful and thankful for you in my life. No matter what capacity it is in. You are worth it and wonderful and I’m crossing my fingers that I see your face when I close my eyes tonight.

    7 Responses to After-hours Analysis

    1. Love it
      November 22, 2015 at 3:04 am

      Love it and completely resonates with me

    2. Plz tell them?
      November 22, 2015 at 8:22 am

      Maybe they are not as happy in this world as you think. Maybe it takes every bone in their bodies strength to smile at you & seem happy just to keep you from seeing them otherwise & bringing you down. Maybe no matter what people they go through no one makes them feel like you do & it keeps them up at night or feeling a never ending weight of sadness & emptiness like their all alone even in a crowded room. No it’s not perfect & I’m sure you both have a lot of things to fix in yourselfs that no one else can, even each other. The situation prob isn’t ideal & your both prob waiting for that “perfect time”. But it doesn’t come. This chemistry & feelings don’t happen often in a life time, when two souls connect without even having to speak. Say it all & watch you be everything that each other deserves. Just stop being so scared & guarded & give it a chance. Real love is not easy, but it’s worth it. I’d do anything in this world to hear him speak such words in this letter. It hurts to read something so beautiful left unspoken. -All my best

    3. Cb
      November 22, 2015 at 9:57 am

      I don’t know how many times I read this now. You should tell him/her this. It is just lovely. Don’t just suffer in silence .

    4. Would you actually sing with me?
      November 22, 2015 at 10:37 am

      When can we start this magical relationship?!?

    5. Awesome
      November 22, 2015 at 11:24 am

      Oh! If only someone had told.me this. It is really awesome tell em this . just love this

    6. S&P
      November 22, 2015 at 2:10 pm

      Your wrong about me being super happy. I’m missing the other half of my soul. I’ll never be whole. You’re right about not doing much for me. You could make it a little more special…I already know you love me and would you just give me something?!!! Something to cherish would be nice.

    7. A note from the author
      November 22, 2015 at 6:34 pm

      Thank you all so much for your kind responses. I’m touched that my words meant something to someone. We are living the lives we have to live. He is my best friend and can’t be more. There are too many hearts and commitments involved. @S&P I don’t think I am who you think I am. Especially if those are the initials of both parties. I’m sorry: (

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