There’s a lot I want to say to you, chief among them being I miss you. I miss you a lot. I don’t miss you because of stability or money or bullshit reasons like that. I miss you because I love you.
I miss going to sleep with you at night and waking up with you in the morning. I miss the feeling of your arms wrapped around me. I miss watching movies with you. I miss watching you play with our son. I miss your laughter and your smile. I even miss your fucking snoring. I just miss you.
Part of me wishes so hard that you miss me the same way I miss you and we’ll get back together and have the happy marriage we always wanted. A growing part of me knows that ship has sailed. Even though I trust you with my life, I’m not sure I could ever trust you with my heart again.
I’ll never stop loving you or thinking about you. For the rest of my life I’ll have constant reminders of you and the love that was once between us.
I know, eventually, I’ll have to move on and so will you. It hurts to even think about. It’s been weeks and I still want you. I guess it’s gonna take more than a few weeks to move on from the man who stole my heart at 18.
While I want you and miss you so bad, I know there’s nothing I can do to get you back. It hurts but it would hurt more to force you to pretend to want me in the same way.