Everyone I know is getting married. Like I don’t even want to check fb because I’m just gonna find out another friend got engaged or married. I feel like it used to be people who were “single” we’re people who just weren’t in a serious relationship. Now, if you’re single it means you’re not married. And there are reminders everywhere. Every happy couple you see on the streets, even when you fill out tax documents and the irs is so eager to determine whether you’re married or not. It kinda sucks. I mean, I’m not an old person, but I feel that way when I see so many people around me that are so much further ahead in that phase of life.
This is all a relatively new phenomenon for me, but what about you? This has been something that has bothered you for awhile isn’t it? How many friends have you seen get married and start families? How many times have you asked yourself how it’s possible you’re still single. Like its a dirty word. Is that why you did what you did, why you said what you said? This is the only thing that makes sense, not necessarily with regards to me, but with everyone else.
It’s hard for me too, you know. Not just to see everyone else seem so happy. All my life I wanted to be that person, desired by the opposite sex and respected by my own for that. And I don’t know what I did or what I changed, but it feels like that’s where I am in life. It’s tempting to consider just enjoying this for awhile. But it always comes back to you. Loving you, and wanting to continue to love you for a long time. Believe me, if I had ever really wavered, I would have really moved on. I hope you never think I continue with you just because you’re the only shot I have. You are the best, for so many reasons, and that is why I love you. If I didn’t fully love you it wouldn’t have been worth it to hold on this long, to go through everything we have.
I continue to believe what we have is very special. I continue to believe I found a diamond in the rough with you. And you probably found the same in me. It’s hard seeing so many people so in love, but I know in my heart that I already feel that way about you, even if it hasn’t been fully realized yet.