• I wish I was.

    by  • September 24, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Disappointment • 0 Comments

    I don’t really have anyone I’m writing to in particular.
    Perhaps, I’m writing to you.
    You call everyday and I don’t answer.
    Everyday, I feel guilty.
    Yet, I can’t find the words to tell you what I want to say.
    I’m sorry.
    I love you.
    Why didn’t you defend me?
    Why didn’t you make it clear that my pain mattered to you?
    Why do you act like a paternal figure when you haven’t earned that right?
    I wish I could ask all these questions.
    I wish I felt comfortable enough to say all this to you.
    It comes out so easily through my writing
    but then you call
    and all I do is watch it ring.
    I’m sorry.
    I’m not ready.
    Everyday, I wish I was.

    Leave a Reply