There are so many things I want to say to you but never will. I don’t even know where to begin. I have been into you since the day I met you. You were flirty and I loved the attention you gave me. I flirted back, and we started talking. You wanted to keep things casual and I said it was fine. I would’ve said anything just to keep you around and keep seeing you. The nights I spent with you were some of the best nights of my life. I replay them over and over in my mind, analyzing every single moment that passed between us. We weren’t together, but knowing you wanted me was enough. Then something happened. Maybe you grew tired of me. Maybe you found someone else. Maybe you started feeling things and got scared. I constantly wonder why you decided you didn’t want me anymore. I wonder what is wrong with me, and I just want to ask you why I am not good enough. But a small part of me is still holding out, that maybe you will decide you want to spend one more night with me. I know I deserve better, but my feelings for you have grown so much that I would do anything just to spend a few hours with you, falling asleep with my head on your chest. Maybe I am pathetic. Maybe I just want what I can’t have. But every time my phone buzzes my heart skips a beat, thinking maybe, just maybe it’s you. It never is, but I keep hoping.
People keep telling me that one of these days I will meet someone amazing, someone that I deserve, and someone that deserves me. But I can’t help but compare every single person I meet to you, and they never come close. I don’t know how I will ever move on.