• Same Old Love

    by  • September 19, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 12 Comments

    I feel so terrible when you tell me you love me because I don’t know what to think anymore. I know I love you too, but maybe it’s not exactly the same love it used to be? We’ve been through so much ups and downs lately and I feel myself starting to fall for him. I’m yelling at myself to stop, but I can’t. It’s not longer your texts that I sit waiting for; it’s his. And you have no idea how incredibly terrible that makes me feel. I’m committed to you, we have been together for almost a year now. What am I supposed to do? You treat me like gold, you give me everything I have ever wanted. What if loving you is enough? What if it is what I need? Right now it doesn’t feel right, it feels guilty. I feel so guilty because I cant control my feelings for him. I never have been able to. The cold hard fact is I have liked him since you and I started dating. Do I stay with you but always wonder what could have been with him? You are amazing. But I’m not sure that you’re what I need anymore. And that fact alone makes me feel like a horrible person. I don’t know how I could ever break your heart when you’re so fragile already. You’re my best friend, but are you still my lover? We’ve come so far to where we are, and I feel a certain responsibility to not give up on us. But I don’t know because what if I never find someone that treats me as well as you do? What if this other guy isn’t what I thought he would be for a boyfriend? I’m so confused. I’m so blinded by what is right and what is wrong. But in this situation is there really a right and a wrong? Love makes everything blurred and unclear. What the hell am I gonna do.

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    12 Responses to Same Old Love

    1. Dhd
      September 19, 2015 at 6:31 pm

      Word of advice you already have done something . Let go of the person you are with if you really care for them because you have fallen for someone else so pick the second person




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    2. aily
      September 20, 2015 at 1:52 pm

      You’re too old
      It’s a one way street with you
      You’re never wrong
      It was obvious something was up
      Things have been mediocre especially the sex
      All that talk of seeming miserable is becoming a reality
      You’re used up
      They say don’t kiss and tell and you brag like its a good thing
      I say we call it quits sooner then later
      I have lost interest and I don’t see myself with you like I did
      Move on to Mr Jackson BTW your friends mom got robbed because when was trying to sell pills. Birds of a feather flock togetheryour friends are just like you




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    3. Peter C
      September 20, 2015 at 5:21 pm

      We can cause great pain by leaving someone. But we can also cause pain by staying when we should not. Way below the level of our conscious, down in the deepness and the dark blue unknown of our minds, we absorb so much and read signals in the sighing of the wind and the passing of clouds. Something deep inside us picks up hints, intimations, small whispers like bits of string, and pieces together the full cloth of a terrible unspoken conclusion. If you stay only to not hurt someone’s feelings, they will despite your silence come to feel anxious, uncertain, possessive, suddenly angry, uneasy, because below consciousness they already know what you are not saying.

      Your other question to yourself is one of caution – should I stay simply because I cannot predict the future, don’t know if this new person will be everything I need? What if this is already the best of all possible worlds, and I leave it? But living a life of caution also robs you of the full-throated joy of encountering life raw, unfiltered, passionate, deep and rich. Do you want to measure out your life in coffee spoons?

      And then your last question is – what if I break you? You are so fragile already, how can I break your heart? But when we speak like that, we make prisoners of us both. His fragility are your bonds and the ropes that bind you, and your fear of breaking him keeps him in a prison of dependence and silence.

      We drop clues for ourselves unknowing, hoping that we may yet understand them when we see them again. Can I tell you what you say? You say “it’s not longer your texts that I sit waiting for; it’s his.” You say “Right now it doesn’t feel right.” You say “I’m not sure that you’re what I need anymore.” And “it’s not exactly the same love it used to be.” Small pebbles that you have already dropped.

      You see it’s not about who treats you as gold, and who like iron. It’s not even about whether you still love your boyfriend. Our hearts are big enough to love many people at a time. It is about what that small, quiet voice inside you is already telling you. If you do not listen with honesty, and act with honesty, then you are misleading yourself and the other, and from that can only come more anguish.




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    4. A @Peter C
      September 21, 2015 at 10:03 pm

      I’ve got to say Peter C…I’ve read a lot of your posts on here and you are very wise. I admire your writing.

      To the Author, I think you should listen to your heart..

      I think you should be with the one who you’re not dating right now but you ‘like’.

      Maybe it’d be the best thing that ever happened to you…Author

      I wish you the best.




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    5. Peter C
      September 24, 2015 at 4:41 pm

      To A@Peter C –

      Thanks for your comment! It appears the view is not unanimous.. 🙂

      I have a few thoughts on wisdom, if you are interested. This is just for you, not for others.

      – all insight is paid for in full, and then some.
      – you can grow, or you can just grow older. One of these is optional.
      – with every scrap of wisdom I gather, the yard posts to true wisdom move out by tenfold. And yet…
      – The truly wise do exist. I have met them, and they are not me..
      – What looks like water to one horse looks like poison to another, and it may in fact be so. No one drinks from precisely the same well.
      – The world we see says much about our eyes, and little about the world.
      – We are all damaged in some way, you too and me too. And yet…
      – We are 100% responsible for the consequences of our actions, from here on.
      – We have absolutely no control over the unexpected things that will happen in our lives. We DO control how we respond. Humor, grace and kindness seem to work best..




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    6. Author
      December 30, 2015 at 1:53 am

      Update..

      I finally decided to follow my heart and left my boyfriend for the other guy. We have been dating for a couple months now and I couldn’t be more happier. I picked right finally, and it turned out to be the best decision in my life




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    7. Peter C
      January 1, 2016 at 9:51 pm

      I am happy that you listened to your heart. Funny how our hearts often know what to do long before we do. I’m even more happy that it is working out. Thanks so much for posting an update, that is thoughtful of you. All best, Peter




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    8. @author
      January 1, 2016 at 11:18 pm

      SLUT is what your defined as done this before once a cheater always a cheater 1 word KARMA.




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    9. I Have Changed
      January 2, 2016 at 3:37 am

      Thank you for all the times we shared as it was unique. I regret none of it with with my recent clear conscious for which I’m glad It’s back. I’m glad you’ve found the happiness you so deserve no matter if I was man number one. I wouldn’t have been able to say that a month ago nor September. I felt something then yet I’ve always trusted you & that’s now in the past, whether this is you or I’m now projecting. It matters not. Where others may get upset, or angry, jealous, thoughts of betrayal, cheating….they are but words & I accept It as what it is. I will not fib it is a titanic lesson that I’m now digesting. This hasn’t broke my heart one reaffirmed I have changed for its only strengthened my integrity & empathy for I wouldn’t be able to say this to you in the past. Not many could? If this is really YOU Ive already forgiven you as I’ve never been one to hold grudges. Yes I’ve said things in the moments we disagreed. it takes two to tango & by me acting like this my love was unconditional. I’ve learnt so much.in unexpected ways hehe????

      May all your dreams big & small, become reality, for your startup to materialise, to reconnect with both children & be the loving family unit that you’ve always wanted, to release & say goodbye to all the trauma you’ve gone through in your past, to own a AMG45, your man to love you in ways that I couldn’t give you & to always keep his promises! A passionate lifetime of love.

      Smiling as our Vivid Blue Eyes gaze upon each other this final time.




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    10. I've Have Changed
      January 2, 2016 at 3:39 am

      Thank you for all the times we shared as it was unique. I regret none of it with with my recent clear conscious for which I’m glad It’s back. I’m glad you’ve found the happiness you so deserve no matter if I was man number one. I wouldn’t have been able to say that a month ago nor September. I felt something then yet I’ve always trusted you & that’s now in the past, whether this is you or I’m now projecting. It matters not. Where others may get upset, or angry, jealous, thoughts of betrayal, cheating….they are but words & I accept It as what it is. I will not fib it is a titanic lesson that I’m now digesting. This hasn’t broke my heart one reaffirmed I have changed for its only strengthened my integrity & empathy for I wouldn’t be able to say this to you in the past. Not many could? If this is really YOU Ive already forgiven you as I’ve never been one to hold grudges. Yes I’ve said things in the moments we disagreed. it takes two to tango & by me acting like this my love was unconditional. I’ve learnt so much.in unexpected ways hehe????

      May all your dreams big & small, become reality, for your startup to materialise, to reconnect with both children & be the loving family unit that you’ve always wanted, to release & say goodbye to all the trauma you’ve gone through in your past, to own a AMG45, your man to love you in ways that I couldn’t give you & to always keep his promises! A passionate lifetime of love.

      Smiling as our Vivid Blue Eyes gaze upon each other this final time.




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    11. Author
      February 12, 2016 at 8:48 pm

      To @Peter C:

      I wanted to thank you for your wise words. It made me realize how much I already knew the decision I had to make. Sometimes we have to put our life and our feelings before others so we can get what we want out of life. Thank you for opening my eyes on the ways of life and sacrifice.




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      • Peter C
        February 13, 2016 at 4:58 pm

        Words are wise only in the ears of those who can hear them. Most wisdom is innate; the words of others only serve to bring your own wisdom to the surface. I am glad you acted from your heart! All best for the future,

        Peter




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