• The truth is…I kind of hate that I love you

    by  • September 17, 2015 • Love - Pure and Simple • 5 Comments

    First of all, no one fucking comment on my letters please (this letter included). I’m not replying to the people who question my love for her; this is not limerence, lust, or infatuation, or anything like that.

    To M:

    I am madly in love with you.

    Honestly, I kind of hate that I love you. I really want to trust you but after some of the things you did, it’s really hard. Actually… I do trust you even if it makes me stupid or naive but I honestly believe you’ve went out of your way (multiple times) in the past just to spite me. That’s really what hurts the most.

    Actually even worse, after I messaged you that I love you (which I really didn’t want to do through a message) you couldn’t even tell me “I don’t like you” or “I don’t love you”. I felt like you were treating me like I was just some other guy…

    I’m aware you have a boyfriend but I thought it was possible that you loved me and you’d break-up with anyone just to be with me; that’s how I feel about you… I’ve only ever been on one date and it was just to see what a date is like to be honest. I’ve never wanted to be close to any other female but you, and I still don’t.

    Also, I’m pretty sure you lied to me (about a few different things)..

    You broke my heart a few times in the past.. But…

    My heart is really good at repairing itself and forgiving. Every time it repairs itself, the fire in my heart for you burns brighter and bigger than it ever was before..

    I can honestly say that right now, I love you more than I’ve ever loved you in the past. I love you more than my own family and I love you more than anyone else in my life. I’ve actually never loved any other person outside my family, except you.

    So you see, nothing hurts more than when the only person I’ve ever loved tells me to never talk to her again without even having a REAL talk about it. You seriously couldn’t even talk to me on the phone? God damn…

    That would have made things a million times better than how they are right now; if you just called me. But no, you couldn’t even do that…you had to block me out of your life.

    Also, if you don’t want me in your life, obviously I’m not going to force myself into it. Do you know how hard I tried, how hard I’m trying, and how hard I’ll continue to try just to be with you? I honestly believe that nobody in the world loves you as much as I do (you’re my wonder-wall). You literally mean everything to me and you’re inspiring, you give me strength, hope, joy, and I honestly think we should be together.

    You messaged me that if I ever talk to you (or contact you) again then you’ll notify police as ‘harassment’… Part of me feels like you really don’t mean that and you just want to see how much I really love you. I could contact you but what you did was a really bad-way to start off a potentially forever-lasting and serious relationship. I could surprise you but I really don’t know how that would go for me and to be honest, I’m very scared.

    I honestly think even if you didn’t love me, that you could fall for me if we spent some time together; I’ve loved you ever since we first made eye-contact and I wish it was the same for you. also, I deserve to know exactly how you feel about me. If you already love me then I definitely deserve to know and I think we should be together.

    I’ll always love you very passionately and you mean the world to me. I love you so much it can’t be described in words. My love for you is very complicated and unconditional. I don’t know what to do exactly. I could surprise you but we’re two very-different people. I’d want to spend-time alone with you and I know if I surprised you then that wouldn’t really be an option. I feel like you’re always with somebody else whether it’s a friend, your boyfriend, or your family. On the other hand, I’m always alone and ever since you shut me out of your life, I’ve inadvertently pushed-away my friends and family. I’m not sure why but it’s just something I do when I’m upset..

    Anyway, I wouldn’t surprise you (by driving to your school) unless I knew that I could at least talk to you and be alone with you. Honestly, I know I deserve that much.

    I’m already taking so many risks here and I don’t know if you understand this, but I need things to be certain. I AM CERTAIN that I love you. A lot of people on this site and in real-life too try to tell me that I’m infatuated or that I’m not in love. They couldn’t possibly understand how I feel about you. I am most definitely in-love with you. It shouldn’t even be questioned…

    I wish we were intimate..even if it was just kissing and holding hands for a little while if we started dating; nothing would make me happier than being close to you. I’ll always love you and I really want to share my love with you and only you. I’m sorry if you’re turned off by the fact that I’m a virgin but I really don’t want to sleep (or be intimate) with anyone else and I mean that. Of course I’ve been tempted in the past and I’ve had opportunities to lose my virginity to other girls; though, I repeat, I’m not interested in anyone else but you.

    I just want that to be clear..

    This letter turned out longer than I meant for it to be but that’s fine.

    I still have hope you and I can be together in the future and have an amazing life, as a couple. I’ll always love you. I miss you. I care. Baby…

    (And seriously, if anyone read this letter then DO NOT COMMENT on it. If you have any respect for the wishes and desires of me and of other people, then no one will comment on this letter.)


    I’ll always love you so fucking much.




    5 Responses to The truth is…I kind of hate that I love you

    1. Me
      September 17, 2015 at 9:36 am

      Commenting just because I can 😉

    2. Peter C
      September 17, 2015 at 11:51 am

      Oh, come on “Me” – he asks that no one comment. Let’s respect that, why poke?

    3. Let's play a game...
      September 17, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      Ok, here’s how we play…

      Don’t think about giraffes.

      You just did didn’t you?

      Kinda like asking people not to comment on your letter.

      And please…your request has absolutely nothing to do with “the wishes and desires…of other people.”

    4. Andy
      September 17, 2015 at 9:41 pm

      Hey, Peter C, you’re commenting, too.

    5. Author @All the comments
      September 19, 2015 at 2:51 pm

      All four of you who commented have no respect for me. obviously.

      @Let’s play a game…

      No, I didn’t think of giraffes and I’m not thinking about them right now.

      My letter was under ‘Most Read’ for only two days and on the front page for only one; of course, none of those who commented could show they have enough willpower to respect my wish, as I expected really.

      People are very predictable…

      I wish you all the best.

      (Seriously, no one reply to this comment and no-one reply to this letter anymore. You guys are kind-of annoying…hah)




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