• I regret everything and nothing

    by  • September 17, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    Dear C12,

    I am so sorry. I broke up with you 3 weeks ago. I have felt immense guilt and sadness in hurting you. I still love you, but I just feel that I cannot be with you anymore and I don’t know why. I need to be on my own to find out where I’m supposed to be in my life, and for a long long time, I have been putting the needs of others before myself. Because of this, I am depressed, I have no close friends, and don’t have much sense of self anymore. It hurts me every day not being able to be close like we were before.

    It’s hard to move on. I know you’ve moved on a great deal after talking to you yesterday, and now I really need to move on. How awful and selfish of me to just dump all my problems on you, break up with you, and expect you to not move on all the way. How awful of me. So I’m letting you go, for real this time. I regret our break up, but I have to figure myself out.

    Seeing you everyday at school and feeling us drift more and more everyday feels terrible. Part of it is the fact you are my closest friend and without you, I feel alone. Most of it is just missing you. Yesterday, you said that now is the part where we fall back on our friends and family now, and that I am not your responsibility anymore, and you are absolutely right, The problem is, I feel as though there is no one to fall back on.

    I made this decision, now I am trying to deal with the consequences. I’ll probably miss you and regret this for a long time.

    Me

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