Ever since first hearing the expression, I have so strongly resented the concept of: “if I could go back in time I wouldn’t change a single decision, even the bad ones, because they led me here.”
That is so, so, so, so selfish a sentiment. I hate hearing it. When people say it I immediately question whether I should continue any kind of relationship with them.
All of our actions have implications for others, and just because you learned some valuable life lesson or your path took a turn that eventually led to better because of your decisions, does not mean that your choices necessarily had a good impact on the other person(s) affected by them in the long-term. It seems so self-important to me to justify and refuse to regret all of the bad decisions you’ve made because they made you the person you are today. What about other people? They might have to clean up the emotional scars you left behind- and you still wouldn’t do things differently, because you figured things out in the end and got to a better state of mind? What a neat little bow. What an everyone-out-for-themselves world.
I’ve hurt people and I’ve been hurt- and I would absolutely take those bad experiences back if I could. Who needs the lesson; it’s common sense that hurting others is wrong. Sometimes we choose to ignore that. It’s not a lesson that needed to be learned. I’m not saying you should hang on to the regret forever, but to say that you would do it all over again the exact same way…. wow.