• Into my mind

    by  • September 7, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    Today is almost over. Today is almost tomorrow, and tomorrow is a new today. But for the past 6 years of my “today’s,” I’ve suffered through a couple things. Born into a lovingless family, I looked for love and affection in other men. This lead to a lot of things. I miss so many people tonight, and my depression is overwhelming. Abuse leaves scars that don’t go away, and a lack of support deepens them. I’m running out of options, and I feel lost in my mind. I’m 3,000 miles away from the one thing I love (my cat,) and it’s hard. Should I trust a random guy, knowing that I won’t be able to take it if he leaves? If I don’t trust him, what am I going to do? Each day gets worse than the last. Therapy, counselors, psychiatrists, antidepressants, andtipsychotics… All useless. I don’t believe in self pity, or making my problem’s anyone elses. I really don’t want to be alone tonight. Today I do not want to fall asleep, because I know all too well that falling asleep means waking up to a new tomorrow.

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