I am crumbling.
Oh God how I miss you,
how my spirit yearns for you,
alas, my words are redundant.
I tied up all my dreams in the fantasy,
that you and I would reconcile,
into a loving relationship,
with all the bells and whistles.
I grow more hopeless each day.
I manage to get through this new job,
by drifting off into deep thought,
going through everything in my head.
Where did it go so wrong?
Why is it all so painful?
I wish I had dealt with my end better,
and don’t you worry,
I hang myself in my head every day,
for the way I dealt with my rage,
for my sins I carry a heavy burden.
I miss you.
I miss your cute face.
I miss your smile.
I miss your voice.
I miss our pointless conversations.
I will always love you,
even though it is killing me,
and you are nowhere to be found…
The thought of holding you in my arms,
that keeps me going,
but I have lost my compass,
and I feel like even God has forsaken me,
I pray all the time, and I still have faith,
I am just so tired and forlorn,
it seems I have even forsaken myself.
All I can say is this,
I still care about you,
I miss you painfully,
and I wish things were different.