I miss you a lot
I know that phrase is over used.
I often say it to people that I truly don’t even miss as just something nice to say.
I know our situation is shitty, and I know that you’re living your dream and thats what this was all about in the first place.
I figured in letting you go I would find my solstice as well.
I thought that making you happy would end up making me happy too.
You’re where you belong though. You were always so good yet under appreciated that it lights me up inside to see you get the recognition you deserve.
I just hope you don’t forget me.
I hope that it doesn’t get to your head and that you always remember how hard I supported you and how much I always believed in you. I still do.
You’re a different kind kid, I’ve never met one quite like you.
The kindest of souls that has lived a life that would have made anyone sour.
but you’re coming up on top and you deserve it.
at the end of the day I still love you. Its been over a year now and I don’t know how to move on.
I guess I just don’t have a good reason to let you go.
I almost wish you told me you have no regard for my being, that I disgusted you and you never wanted to see me again.
That way I would have a good reason.
So what the fuck am I even trying to say?
I don’t know anymore,
I would drive my car to california right now if you asked me to
but you never have.
You’re happy without me
and I have to accept that
I should be too
I moved to a great city, I’m doing well in school, I have a decent job, I have an awesome place with kick ass friends and a dog too. I have guys that want to take me out, I’m even kind of seeing someone.
Yet I’m still up at 3am writing you notes you’ll never receive.
It proves useless.
I just hope you know, that I would drop any guy for you.
I wish someone would tell me how to just not care anymore,
how to move the fuck on with my life.
I even met someone new and he’s not what I want. I know that now although I’ve always known that deep down.
I hope when you talk about your successes that I’m one of them
Who else was there when we had nothing else but each other?
Now you’re somebody, and somebodies get noticed
you probably have girls hanging on your every word
and I wonder if you ever compare them to me?
and where do I fall?
Do I set the bar for you? I hope I do
I hope that when you wake up next to someone else you wish it was me.
But I don’t think so.
If you did you would have broken down to me already
like I have so many times since we’ve broken up
I’ve called you, texted you, with everything exposed.
and although there is always sorrow in your response,
its never like mine.
Time doesn’t heal anything
I’ve learned that
I miss you a lot