• She’s the best! (sorry basic bitches)

    by  • September 3, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 2 Comments

    Hard to remember the last time I was this happy, for this long. Also hard to remember a time I was more hopeful for the future. I wake up excited, knowing my life is really in motion now. Its always felt like I was just biding time, waiting for my life to really start. But Im finally here now. To be honest, it’s not ALL you. You are a big part of it.

    A thought occurred to me a couple days ago, just one word really: preconceptions. I’m not talking about predestination of fate, or anything like that, but like when you’re going to see a movie you’re really excited about seeing. Its never as good as you were expecting is it? I’m not saying that necessarily in regards to our current chapter, more so our last. I think I went into that with the idea in my mind that I wasn’t good enough for you. And I think you went into that with the idea that we couldn’t work, at least initially. I read something once, in a letter here, a long time ago…it was something like “my best friend told me it would be years before we could be together.” Probably wasn’t you, but it always stuck with me because it just makes so much sense that you would have felt that way. Like I’m a work in progress. Well I certainly am, but aren’t we all? I just don’t want anything, even subconscious, to get in the way of us being together this time.

    I guess it still bothers me that you wouldn’t be with me before. Maybe that’s why I still feel like I have to impress you. Have you ever planned an encounter out, every word and mannerism, for over a year? Maybe you have and you’d know its doesn’t really work out like that does it lol? I do feel some sense of obligation to sweep you off your feet, to be that knight in shining armor. But I don’t want to focus on that right now.
    What I want, where I want us to go, where I want to take you to, is when we first met. Not to overlook our bad history (not that I’m really ready to talk about that yet) but because that is when we communicated the best. To each other, directly. Its when I felt safe telling you about my life and asking about yours. I really want to get to know you again, because its been a long time. This isn’t the beginning for us, but I’d like it to be a sort of new beginning, if that’s ok with you.

    Along those lines, I’m going to take this slow. Probably slower than you want, though definitely not as slow as before. What I felt before, was a constant pressure to ‘seal the deal’. Not necessarily sexually, but more like making you my girlfriend. It was always “I have to get her number by Day X, so I can ask her to the dance on Day Y” or “I have to take her on one real date before I leave for a month.” It just added so much pressure I didn’t need. That’s not your fault; I did that to myself. Which is why I need to do things differently this time. I don’t want to focus on dating, initially, I want us to work on being friends first. I need to be able to be comfortable with you again, and maybe you feel the same way. But you should know, because I think its important that you know, that I am NOT quitting. You are my life. I love you, and I want nothing more than to be with you all the time. Just please be patient, and let me do this at my pace.

    That’s really all I have to say right now. I would like to remind you how incredible you are. Not just as a beauty, but as a person. Know that I didn’t fall in love with your face first; I fell in love with your soul. And I thank God that the angel He sent down to me also happens to be ridiculously hot 😉

    I love you baby

    Related Post

    2 Responses to She’s the best! (sorry basic bitches)

    1. Why don't you try..
      September 4, 2015 at 10:30 am

      21 Questions.

      Reloaded.

      When you’re ready of course…

      You can learn a lot about a person in 21 Questions. If they’re the right questions. And, both sides are honest.

      Food for thought….




      0



      0
    2. ...or for what is left
      September 5, 2015 at 4:25 pm

      Superficiality at its best.




      0



      0

    Leave a Reply