• I’m sorry

    by  • September 3, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Sorry • 0 Comments

    I’m sorry. But none of you people understand. I’m a suicidal girl who has gotten sexually harassed, mentally abused, and manipulated in so many ways. I have trust problems. And I’m terrified of people. I love people too easily and I get let down too often. People ask me what I’m going to do with my life when I’m older. And I’ll tell is… I’m joining the Air Force and leaving this place. They ask me, how many kids do you want? I say none. I have literally no interest in having kids. They ask me what I look for in a man. I say I’m not interested. I like men, don’t get me wrong. But I never want to get married. In this world, in this society, true love does not exist. People are only in relationships for sex and pleasure. They don’t feel anything anymore. I’m a virgin and I’m going to die a virgin. That is if I don’t get married. But I mean, I’m not getting married so I guess I’m gonna for a virgin. And I’m proud of that. Love should be emotional before anything else. Why is this world so broken. It’s not full of God like it used to. It’s broken and full of the devil and self importance. People rarely are about others. It’s always about themselves. I love people. I love making people smile. But people don’t feel the same way about me. I’m alone 95% of my day. At school I’m alone. At home I’m alone. I don’t have friends to hang out with. Because of how broken this world is, I’m breaking with it. Our world is turning away from God in so many ways. And this is breaking my heart. I just want this world to be happy and the people in it to be happy. That’s all I want. I honestly don’t Give a shit if I’m happy in the future. My goal is to change someone’s life. I want to be an influence on someone. When I walk though the halls I keep my head down and avoid people. People know I’m hurting but they just don’t care. I’ve always been the outsider. And that’s fine to me. I’m the word Christian girl that no one likes. Ya I get lonely, but life goes on. All I can really do for the people that hate me is pray and hope the best for everyone. But this is really hard. Being alone and knowing you’re alone…. It breaks you. Breaks you bad. I have problems. And I know I do, but honestly, id rather help others than waste my time on me. This is a stupid letter but, I needed to let someone know what I feel. I feel broken and lost. I love people but am so scared for the future. This world is only going downhill. But all I can do is pray. Make today count. Change someone’s life for the best. I don’t know you guys, but I love you. God bless you all.
    ~ Unknown

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