• Dear Love Of Mine

    by  • September 3, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Love - Pure and Simple • 0 Comments

    We are both crazy in love 16 year olds who spend their nights staying up late texting, watching movies and drinking half gallons of chocolate milk on the side of the road.
    The nights we spent together were nothing wasted. You would fall asleep in my arms and i would pet your lovely soft hair. All snuggled up together, trying to share a blanket on the couch and also keep room for the cats. Heh…and how we would wake up looking at each other in the eyes. you always embarrassed me. Calling me beautiful and carrying me long ways. I never knew how much you could mean to me.
    Remember that night…out in the field? we set out far away from the city lights and looked up. Looked up and watched the stars, holding onto the grass with our hands, and locking our fingers with the others. All the time we would spend making out and teasing each other up until the point where we couldn’t take it anymore. We would always be so close. So close to actually doing it. But we never did. My insecurities held me back, and i regretted that so many times. But anyways…that night out in the field was the night we first decided to do it. We had sex. Honestly i was terrified since we didn’t use a condom, but I was on birth control so that takes away one worry. I didn’t want to say anything, but for me, a girl, it honestly did hurt. And as much as i wanted it to stop, i didn’t because the pain was going to be a passing thing. sadly sitting in missionary pose for a while doesn’t exactly feel good on the legs or the hips…i’m still hurting a bit to this day. It’s only been two days what am i saying? ugh….anyways sadly i felt bad that you didn’t get to ‘finish’ but we did get pretty far in this. I felt a lot better after we finished and my legs were shaking and you laid on me, telling me your body couldn’t take anymore. Didn’t know what that meant but i knew that we were both tired. we cuddled up in our underwear and i just felt this release in my chest. it was a moment of me accepting everything. I felt…happy. just being there with you. being able to do anything with you. A few days later i ended up being…somewhat depressed. I felt guilty. I felt so, so much guilt and weight on my shoulders- And I don’t even know why. I just felt so sad. I think the reason is…that night i loved you more than i ever thought i would. The fact that i am longing for us to meet again. The fact that I want to be with you for a long time, and maybe even eventually for forever. It pains me, honestly to think about how we might not get that far in the future. It pains me that someday we might part. I want to tell you my true feelings, that…that…I think I am in love with you. I think that we might be perfect soul mates. Two stars’ lights intertwine…that is us. And I can’t even come to think of a reason why I would want to leave. Your warmth gives me comfort, your words give me security and your love gives me the will to move on. I love everything about you. Just everything.
    I don’t know what love feels like, because I have never exactly been in love…but I think i know I think i know now how this works. I think…I think…I love you now.

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