• “Back beat, the word on the street is the fire in your heart is out.”

    by  • September 1, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, To You • 5 Comments

    I got played. We were in a relationship that you pushed for. You played me. I’m not ashamed for giving the relationship my all, just ashamed that I gave my all to someone who did not appreciate me or give back by choice. I suppose that’s what hurts the most. You chose to not treat me well and hurt me, like I chose to believe in the good in you. You were wrong that I would stay and I was wrong that you’d see beyond your behaviors and admit your mistakes. It takes two people to be together, two people to admit when they’re wrong and work towards building a healthier relationship. It was never two with us. It was somehow always my fault.

    I’m trying to forgive and forget you, but it’s hard to not wish you the worst. I would not hurt someone in the way you hurt me. I’m not sure how you get by in life the way that you do and I pity you, I really do, for the way you perceive relationships with other people – I was always treated like the enemy. Nothing was ever good enough, and it hurt so much because I was giving you all I had. I invested in you with the naive belief that we got each other in special ways. Another fault of mine. You were emotionally unavailable. We were a ticking time bomb from the beginning.

    In moving on, I’m trying to accept a version where we just believed relationships to be different things. Maybe you could not give back, but it’s hard to not see that as a choice. I know that I gave it my all and tried to love you in the ways you would let me. I’ll never regret in love at least.

    I’ll find someone new, and you will become a ghost.

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    5 Responses to “Back beat, the word on the street is the fire in your heart is out.”

    1. Hmmm
      September 1, 2015 at 5:09 pm

      Maybe the person was not the right person for you.


    2. anon
      September 3, 2015 at 10:06 pm

      He wasn’t but I thought he could be. Sounds silly now to think I thought that way.


    3. M
      September 5, 2015 at 2:31 am

      You need to take 50% responsibility for the way the relationship ended and so do they. They are at fault, and so are you. It’s not healthy to blame yourself or to blame them. It didn’t work. That’s all.


    4. Know the feeling
      September 5, 2015 at 7:22 pm

      Author, I can relate and I respectfully disagree with “M”. Rarely in life are relationship failures really 50/50. Nothing in life is fair, least of all dating, so to believe that 50/50 stuff is either a way to alleviate responsibility (if you are the bigger jerk) or a way to justify the poor behavior of others if you are the one taking crap.

      Now, I agree that it takes two to tango and that personal responsibility is ultimately at play… but someone always starts the failure tango first. The first person who lies, hides things, cheats or just starts to get a wandering eye, fails to communicate their needs, whatever. Never 50/50.


    5. Name
      September 6, 2015 at 10:03 am

      This is a little out from left field…. but I wonder if Josh Duggar thinks his relationship problems are 50% Anna’s responsibility.

      The truth is, if you are a genuinely sweet, trusting, naive, people-pleasing, fair, and loving woman… you are apt to fall into the hands of a man who is easily bored with women, who will pursue you for the fun of the chase and make himself appear to be Prince Charming… and who will manipulate, lie, and start to wander in secret. Or, you’ll end up with worse than that. Because girls who are too nice are sought out by users.

      If you honestly feel like you gave your all and still got played…. you probably really did get played. I hope you meet someone kinder in the future. 🙁



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