• Thank you, and I’m sorry

    by  • July 27, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Breaking Up • 0 Comments

    AN OPEN LETTER TO MY EX-BOYFRIEND

    Hey,
    We had a good 2 years, you and I. We had some laughs and made some memories. You held me when I cried. You know all my secrets because you said you cared and wanted to know me. You got through my self-built wall of protection, because you asked and I let you. You said I could trust you, so I did. You were my entire world. My days (and nights) revolved around you. So I have just 2 things to say to you:

    Thank you.

    I’m sorry.

    Thank you for loving me the best way you knew how. You really did try. You said all the right words—you just didn’t know how to show it. I’ve kept the letters you wrote me—you could write romance or poetry and make girls cry, like you made me cry. That crying was better than the other kind.

    Along with that, though, I want to say I’m sorry. I’m sorry no one ever taught you how to love. They never showed you what true love looks like. Using “just being honest” as an excuse to tear me down isn’t love. Standing me up because you were tired (repeatedly) isn’t love. Not talking to me for days because you were angry about something lame is not only not loving, but is also really childish. I don’t know where you got your ideas of how to love someone. I’m sorry you never really figured that out.

    Thank you for breaking up with me. You made my life living hell. The bruises healed a lot faster than the hurtful comments and constant criticism. My friends warned me that you were bad news. I wanted to prove them wrong. I wanted to believe you could and would change if I just loved you enough.

    I’m sorry I wasn’t good enough. I’m sorry I wasn’t strong enough. I doubt there is someone good enough for what you think you deserve. Yeah. Good luck finding the girl of your dreams. If you find her, she probably won’t be willing to put up with your crap. But if you do find her, here’s a hint—don’t break her like you broke me. I was the strongest girl I know. I’ve been screwed over many times and come out ok. I’ve dealt with a lot of crap. People have treated me like shit before and I’ve always been ok. But you—you’re different. I cared what you thought. Your opinion mattered. And you used that to your advantage. You hurt me. You broke me. Then you left me. And I’m putting the pieces back together. And I’m going to be ok. In fact, I’ll come out stronger, better, and too good for you.

    I’m sorry you think you deserve better than me. I’m the best damn thing that ever happened to you. If your head wasn’t so far up your ass, you may have recognized that while you had me. I know I’m not perfect. I drink too much sometimes. I suck at saving money. But I’ve managed to mostly figure out this whole “life” thing, and I’m only 26. I have a masters degree, make $60K a year, have a life, friends, a solid job. What do you have? Minimum wage? A dead-end job? Few friends (and those that do hang out only do it because of what you do for them—you don’t want to hear what they really think of you. Trust me). Mastery of several video games. I am a smart, funny, loyal, strong woman. I wasn’t in a relationship with you because I needed you or what you could do for me. I can take care of myself. I loved you. Wanted you. That’s why I stayed. I’m sorry you think you deserve better. Good luck finding it.

    Thank you for showing me what I deserve in a relationship. I know now how a real man treats the woman he loves. Maybe someday, you can figure it out for yourself. He doesn’t hit her. A real man respects his girlfriend. He wants to spend time with her. He doesn’t yell at her or curse her out. All the things you did, he doesn’t do. Thank you for helping me see what a toxic relationship is. Now I can move on. Be in a healthy relationship and make myself even stronger. No one deserves to be treated the way you treated me. I see that now. So, until you change, I hope you stay alone.

    I deserve better than you. I am too good for you, and I wish I had seen that sooner. I’m moving on now. This letter is goodbye. I’m forgetting you. Because you’re not important to me anymore. You aren’t worth the emotions I spent on you. So you can think about me and how you screwed up. When you’re alone at night, think of me and all we had and could have been. I’m not angry. I’m not bitter. I’m glad I got a chance to know you and love you. I learned a lot. Now, I’m moving on to better things.

    One more thing: I forgive you.

    Love,
    Your Ex-girlfriend

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