It has been a long time since I have written a letter to you… Here or anywhere else. I can’t say that I miss you much anymore. I love you, though. I always will. I don’t think about you very often anymore either.
Every now and then, I feel this gap, this empty space, the space you used to fill. And I ache.
I don’t know that I will love again. Not the way I loved you. I came close to loving somebody a couple months ago until I realized he wasn’t who I thought he was… That probably crushed me more than anything, crushed that love. Blossoming until I had that moment, that realization when I knew so clearly that we were not to be. And then I got out of there-quick!
You taught me that! Not to waste time on people who have problems that I cannot change. They were there before I met them and will be there after I leave them.
I miss you though… I miss our long talks… And the sex, omg, the SEX!!! I have been with some great partners since you, but no one, no one that I have wanted as much. Because I loved you.
I loved you.
Still love you.
Will always love you.
You utterly destroyed my life, but I am glad you did. It gave me a chance to start over. I have a new life now. A partner that has been in my life almost a year, and other partners too. I am surrounded by people who love and respect me.
Was it worth it? It really was.
Would I do again? Hell no!
Do I wish I still had you in my life? On some level, yes. I do love you.
Do I wish, more than anything, to find someone that I love even more than I loved you and who loves me back the same? Hell yes, I do!
Do I think I may end up with some rich, nice guy? Yes, I do. I have learned my lesson. To stay with someone who treats me well, who can love and support me, the same way I would love and support them.
Light years away from what we had. Yet, strangely strong and enduring. I need sleep, so I am ending this letter to you now.
Think of you…