• You don’t seem to understand

    by  • July 16, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Depression • 0 Comments

    You don’t seem to understand–
    Why it is I spent so much time alone and never want to go out. I try my best to open up but there’s always that one voice in my head that forces me to stay in my corner. It’s constantly there, in my head and around me. It pushes me to do things I don’t want to do. It beats me up and leaves me sobbing for hours until I pass out. This is what happens in my room. Every evening of my life. I don’t feel loved, let alone liked. I only feel tolerated. No one takes the time to get to know how I’m feeling and I guess I have something to do with that. Maybe it’s my fault for feeling like if I open up, I will only cause drama in the life of the people I care deeply about, even if they never show any love back; but it doesn’t feel like that anymore. You can call me selfish, but I’ve been having to hide this for such a long time and I’m tired of it. Having it left in my mind for such a long time, so many years isn’t healthy for me. You act as if you already know this, but you can never make the time for just us. There’s been times where I have confessed to you how I was feeling. You never let it come to your mind that I may need help. You put me aside, your own daughter whom you claim to love. All I ask is for you to accept that I cannot control what comes out of my depression. And to understand that you had taken something very precious to me.

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