I’d like to begin by apologizing. I was not the girl you thought I was– I deceived you, wrecked havoc on your life, and didn’t take responsibility for what I had done to you. There is/was no justification for my actions. What I did does not follow what I stand for, believe in, and find morally correct. I took your friendship in my life for granted, no friendship thus far has compared to the friendship I shared with you. Beyond that, you were there for me when I didn’t deserve for you to be, and for that I’m eternally indebted to you. Maybe it was your loyalty to me as a friend that attracted me to you, maybe it was the way you gave me pretense that everything was going to be all right even though you knew it’d be a rough ride, maybe it was the way you held yourself together so well that inspired me, or maybe it was an array of things. I strongly believe that I’ve jumped around the truth for far too long and avoiding it has prolonged this healing process. So with that being said, here it is… Yes, I made my fair share of mistakes, and I’m so sorry for them all, but I think what I’ve found most difficult to make sense of is the hope you gave me that we could make things work. I took the chance and made a fool of myself in the process to be the person you could love, but you knew the answer the entire time. You knew that I could never be that girl of your dreams. It was hope. Everyone else but I knew your answer, but it was the hope that you’d find it in your heart to let me back in that kept me holding on for dear life; however, that hope was never restored.
Wishing I could have been your happily ever after,
an old friend.