• To my dear M.

    by  • July 14, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Heartbreak • 0 Comments

    Dear M.!

    From the day you walked into my life, you’re all I think about. You’re the reason I breathe. You are the stars in my sky. I was so stupid to think you actually wanted me… I broke my rules for you, isn’t that enough? You broke me.

    Baby why can’t I wake up with you? I hate waking up with you on my mind and not in my bed. Why don’t you love me? Tell me, baby, why don’t you love me… And why don’t you need me? I need you so much…
    My heart stops when I think of you… I know i’ll love you ’til my heart stops beating… I really wish I could reach out and give you a very, very big hug.

    I am too fat, my hips are too big and my face is just not attractive. I have felt the same way about my appearance for a long time; and while I am doing everything to lose weight, it just doesn’t seem to work. I have been starving myself, but… Who cares? You won’t notice… I won’t see you again probably… ????

    Everybody is telling me to stop looking for your love… your speechless leaving is the sign of hating, not caring about me?… Why I can’t move forward? What am I waiting for?

    I can’t allow myself to care about you… But still I care to much about you…
    I HATE YOU SO MUCH… I BLAME YOU FOR MAKING ME CRY… FOR MY BROKEN HEART ???? You’re killing me really and you don’t even care… Why I can’t ignore you?

    Everytime I hear your name I feel butterflies in my stomach, start shaking like I’m gonna die if I you don’t text you… It’s weird and awful, I can’t stand that. But still I just text you back…

    Dying here without you… Dying here not knowing what are you doing… What are you thinking… What a big disappointment I am, huh? Why would you love a trash like me, if you can love someone else? Someone better than me.. Will you ever love me like I do? You broke my heart and took one half with you… I can’t survive with half of heart… I need it back… I need to forget you… You are killing me… Slowly, in your rude way…

    You don’t love me and I know, you don’t love me so let me go now, stop texting me. If you ask me, baby, I should stopped talking to you along time ago, back in February when I last saw your pretty face…
    I’m not able to reach your heart I get this…. But you are messing with my head when you are texting me in the middle of the night…. JUST STOP!!!!

    The love I’m sending ain’t making it through to your heart. So… You’re not worth my tears. But I can’t stop crying. When does all the pain end? Never? Why I can’t forget you and your fucking beautiful face? Whoever said that death is the hardest part was wrong. Letting go and realizing I will never see your face again is even harder. I wish you weren’t too special, I wish you never became my world.
    I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU, M. 🙁

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