• The illusion of us

    by  • July 9, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Friends • 0 Comments

    The Illusion of Us.
    When we first met, I pegged you for an abnoxious spoilt brat. I apologise.
    When we first spoke, I concluded that you were a bitch. I’ll never apologise for that because I was right.
    Sometime between you being a bitch and me smiling , we became deskmates.
    From then on, it was like a flower in spring, full on blooming. We became friends. I won’t lie and say I saw through you ,because I never did. I never doubted you ,not once. With you, I did something I never do,I gave you my complete trust. BIG MISTAKE.
    In a few months , I loved you like I would a sister, I had big plans for us and our future. I loved your child like I would my own flesh and blood.
    With you I was different. I was open, bare. I let you see my insecurities and my pain. I never let anyone do that. I cried in front you. I told you my problems, trusting you not to spread them like Kardashian secrets. So far, I don’t see that as a mistake for you never betrayed me that way.
    We were the talk of those who watched,”the two best friends.” We were different in more ways than one, I hardly felt it though. I should’ve seen that for the warning sign it was.
    *A year and 3 if not four months later*
    I lost you.
    I don’t know what happened. I never did and I doubt I ever will. It was a clean break physically. But emotionally? It was messier than melted chocolate. #Chocolate, one more thing we both loved.
    Like our friendship boomed, our downfall blasted like a balloon only difference is that it was silent. I never saw any warnings but maybe they were there just that I never saw them.or maybe I did, just ignored them. People spoke about us just not loudly because they were probably confused.
    Your leave might’ve shattered my ability to believe in friendships,because since then I have neither believed or trusted anyone enough again. Congrads , you left your mark how ever invisible it maybe. I see it. I feel it.
    I won’t lie and say I hate you. No, I don’t. Try as I might, I just can’t do it. I can’t regret the illision of us either because even though it was an illusion, it gave me the best times that year &4 months it existed.
    You were my C & I thought I was your D. Boy, how wrong I was. Sometimes I miss you soo much it hurts but I know you left for a reason I’ll never know s I let you go. They say if you love something you should set it free, if it’s yours it will come back. I love you, so I’ll set you free,let you go. But even if you come back, I’ll never take you back. Ever. I’ve closed that book now. The illusion of us.

    It was a nice ride but Nelly Furtado said it nicely, all good things come to an end. And so has our journey, our book.

    Till we cross paths again Ms M.
    Love
    D.

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