I don’t know why i’m writing this after all this time. I just found this website and remembered that you said you come here so maybe this will reach you.
I don’t know why but after all these years i still think of you every day.
I feel a pain in my chest that goes deep to my soul, like a stinging stab.
Why after all these years can i not forget you? Not that i would want to, but
because it hurts to remember. It hurts the way i left. It just hurts.
I know you probably hate me. Sometimes, I hate me. But still I can’t shake the feeling that sometimes when i think of you, you’re thinking of me, too. It’s been so long and a lot has changed but I cannot shake this after 5 -6 years or more. Why? Why?……….It crushes me. I feel it crush me. my chest collapses and i can’t breathe….why?….are you still here somewhere?…I know if you read this you probably won’t know it’s me. You probably wouldn’t believe it’s me but I just wanna put it out there. In hopes that you will know what i feel if nothing more. Stockholm Syndrome and everything else was and is not an excuse…I was a real piece of shit to be honest and there isn’t a day that goes by that i don’t think of it…. are you still out there?