I’m not mad at you. I’m hurt. There’s a big difference. Because I am so fucking tired of this. Whatever this is.
I know you’re not affected as I am because you don’t like me the way I like you. Heck, you don’t like me as much as I like you. I’m sorry if this is all so sudden and complicated, or if this is too much drama for you to handle, but I’m as confused as you are because I have never felt this way before and I really don’t know what to do. I really don’t know how to feel.
All I know is that I hate you. And I love you. And it’s a really weird feeling to feel these things at the same time. It took me quite a while to admit it, even to myself, but what the fuck, yes. I love you. I’ve been in love with you for quite some time now.
Or should I say, I have loved you. Because now I’m done. I need you to stop talking to me. I need you to keep ignoring me. I need you to leave me alone. For good.
I have given and invested too much of myself on you, and now I have to let you go, even if you were never mine to begin with.
But please know that it took everything I had and everything I am to finally give up on you. It’s about time for me to realize my worth. It’s about time for me to walk away from the things that cause me pain. It’s about time for me to know what I deserve, and I deserve to be happy.
And even if it means walking away from you, even if it means not being able to talk to you anymore, even if it means missing you every single fucking minute of every single fucking day but not being able to do anything about it, even if it means handling the frustration of not being able to show my affections for you; I will do it. I need to do it.
But I will never forget you. I will never stop loving you, caring for you, missing you, thinking about you, aching for you, longing for you, admiring you, believing in you, and wishing only the best for you.
But I will stop hurting, crying, overthinking, doubting, and hating, all because of you. I will stop. I need to do myself a favor and stop.
You have caused me so much joy, and so much pain.
I love you.
Oh, and also: Fuck you, jerk.
I’m done with you.