• Bitter

    by  • July 9, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 0 Comments

    Bitter describes me perfectly. But I had not always been that way. I was kind once so very long ago. However, this message is not about those days.

    Trust no one. That is my motto. All of the backstabbing and drama in high school taught me something. It taught me that you can never be nice without being taken advantage of.

    In college it is still the same thus far.

    I find that the more I attempt to open my heart to someone the harder they slam the door in my face. The pattern is always the same:

    They ask me out.
    I try to open up.
    The first kiss.
    The sharing.
    The sudden decline in spending time together.
    The wondering what I could have done wrong.
    The anxiety.
    And finally… The breakup.

    They always say they want to be “friends”. But where I come from that more stands for “piss off, you weirdo” than saying those exact words.

    It isn’t as if there is anything majorly wrong with me. Is it so wrong to be a bit reserved until you know each other well? When I think of my interests nothing even remotely strange comes to mind.

    No matter. This is more a note to myself than to anyone else. Love, friendship, and I are finished.

    And I bid them goodbye.

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