• Cause now thanks to you… i’m really confused

    by  • July 8, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Thoughts • 0 Comments

    I’ve known you for 4 years and still I haven’t found a answer. I’m not quite sure how I feel for you right now. There are moments where I do miss you but there are other moments where I don’t. I frequently imagine how would our relationship be but sometimes thinking of that makes me feel scared. Why does it scare me, you may be asking, and it’s because I sometimes feel i’m lying to myself i’m scared that our relationship wouldn’t work, that my feelings for you can disappear. I’ve tried to move on but that just led to more heartbreak. Trying to move on has just led me to become this giant mess in love and relationships. It would be a lie if I told you that I haven’t found people who, I thought, could perfectly replace you but eventually I find that they are just not the guy for me. So after you i’m still going through heartbreaks over and over again. Now, I just want to find easy things like a make-out buddy or friends with benefit because loving someone is just something I feel I can do right now. Finding that special someone is something i’m starting to think as impossible. I’m writing you all this because after those heartbreaks the only person I end up thinking about is you. I just wish you like me as much I like you!!! What I don’t understand is that if you are not the one for me then, Why the fuck, after 4 years of friendship, do I still think of you? Every time I’ve tried to make you disappear from my life you always find a way to break in again. Remember the time I told you I like you? I actually didn’t understand your answer. I thought you said that you didn’t liked me back, so I moved on with my life, but then that one time you came to visit me at Uni I started to question what you said. I really wish you could answer me, What the hell where you doing that day? Honestly, I was pretty surprised for how loving and flirty you where with me. After that you’ve just let this whole cycle of mess start all over again. Please, answer me for once and for all. Do you like me? Cause if you do I am willing to try something between us.

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