I was severely abused (physically, sexually, and emotionally) for 7 years by my step dad when I was a child. I was diagnosed with ADHD, OCD, depression, anxiety and PTSD for which I received therapy and psychiatric services for many years. I got my bachelor of science in psychology and became a CPS worker because I wanted to help prevent child abuse. I resigned my position after having my first child because I wanted to stay at home with my baby. I am currently a divorced mother with 3 children. Two of my children are in special education ADHD but my son was also diagnosed with a severe case of ODD (oppositional defiance disorder). I have consistently used positive parenting techniques that I learned as a CPS worker. However, these parenting techniques were usually ineffective with my son because of his special needs. At age 5, he would say he wanted to cut his baby brother up into pieces and cut out his older sisters eyeballs. He said that he would dream about his mom and dad burning to death. He would bite, punch, kick me, his teachers and bus driver when he wouldn’t get his way. He would take anger out on his siblings by attacking them. He would thrash his body into walls and objects everyday, pretending to be a super hero. He would attack kids at school as he pretended they were villains. I contoured his diet, put him in different extra curricular activities and had him in therapy but his challenging behaviors continued to escalate. He spent a summer at Rogers Memorial hospital for day treatment. As a last resort, I tried him on Focalin. This helped but is not a cure. As his body started getting used to the medication, his behavior started to escalate again. He is 7 now. Recently his behavior was out of control again as he was being violent. At the same time my 11 year old daughter, who also had ADHD, kept screaming at me. I was having chronic pain for a serious bladder condition I have, for which doctors were considering building me a new bladder. Although corporal punishment is legal, I chose not to resort to corporal punishment because of my upbringing and education. However, positive parenting techniques that work for many kids were not working with my child because of special needs. Then I slapped them both in the face but not hard. My 11 year old kept screaming at me so I slapped her in the mouth but not hard. However, I did not realize she was biting her lip when I slapped her which resulted in her lip blessing. I felt very remorseful. I kept crying and apologizing. I was feeling hopeless and then called the police on myself, requesting intense services to help manage my children’s special needs. I explained that although I have experience with social work, it is extremely difficult to get extensive help with my kids special needs. The referred me to CPS for services. CPS substantiated physical child abuse because of the injury to lip, even though I explained that it was an accident because she was biting her lip when I slapped her. CPS didn’t have any additional services to offer me and they never followed up on how our family is doing, as this crisis happened almost 3 months ago. I called the cops as a desperate cry for help but got nothing more than a label from CPS.