Thank you for being you.
I used to love you. I used to think, “wow. I wish I could be a great mother and wife like her.” I used to wish you were my mother. Now you’re just a nightmare that won’t end. You used to say nice things to me. I always felt better when you were around. But then you changed. You called me names. You gave me the cold shoulder. Then I never saw you again.
Thanks to you, my 5 year relationship with your son is withering.
Now every time I’m texting on my phone, he thinks I’m cheating. If I’m out somewhere without him, he thinks I’m cheating. If I don’t reply to his call or messages, he thinks I’m cheating. 5 years I’ve been faithful and only after what you’ve done, he’s stopped trusting me. It doesn’t matter what I say or do. He doesn’t trust in love anymore. He saw his parents marriage fall apart and he sees it all being your fault. I can see him thinking it over, “The woman I love and trust the most destroyed this family. How can I trust anyone else?”
We’ve never fought this much until you decided to ruin everything. Thanks to you, there is no right answer and our fights always end with, “have you made an appt. with your therapist yet?” It’s always me that has to go. I’m always in the wrong. There’s something wrong with me because I’m always the one crying. It’s not him. It’s never him. It’s because of you that he thinks something is wrong with me. Because of you, he picks at every part of our relationship.
I don’t know what to do anymore. I don’t know what to say. If I talk about you, he gets angry. If I don’t talk about you, he gets angry. If I ask him how he’s feeling, he says he doesn’t give a shit. If I don’t ask him, he says he feels less loved. He tells me to speak my mind and be open, but lashes out if I do. He tells me that I don’t love him because I don’t show him. But if I show affection, I’m clingy. I’m lost. All I want is for him to be happy.
But you’ve ruined that.
The girl who’s crumbling