Obviously you have made your choice. Whether long ago or not very long. It was me who was oblivious to it.
The most difficult part is getting used to the thought of never seeing you again. Somehow it was less of a torture before I found out of your possible interest in me.
It’s bizarre how I still think of you every day but can’t even remember your face. It feels so distant now, like it was all a dream.
Maybe I was crazy and did imagine all or some of it. Actually, it seems like the most plausible explanation. I wonder what you would say to me in person if you knew. Maybe you do know. Would you find it embarrassing, ridiculous? Would you feel sorry for me? Would you laugh? You did laugh.
The way you looked at me is still the only comfort. Not much I know. But it’s one thing impossible to fake.
It may have been over for a lot longer than I think, and I was simply following my own delusions.
Actions speak so much louder than any words ever could for me. I understand we had no room for actions. The only five minutes I ever had with you I hated for having to pretend like I cared about anything other than you.
But none of it is relevant anymore. It’s so far away that even the memory of it is starting to disappear. I am just waiting for that day when I wake up and feel nothing for you.