i hate you. honest to god, i hate you. i hate you because i love you so much. i’m tired of this – fuck, i’m tired of everything. i am sick of always thinking about you when i know you couldn’t give a damn about me. all your new boys take up the space i used to fill in your head, soul, schedule, heart. i am not there anymore, am i? i am not a piece of you anymore. you are free from me. you have erased me from existence in your perfect new world and, goddamn it, i wish i could do the same to you. but i can’t. i know i will never be able to. and that sucks. i gave you all of me so that i could take in all of you, and you threw me out without taking yourself back. i don’t want this. i don’t want to be so alone all the time because i know that a life without kissing you is not a life i want to live. what will that be like? to never kiss you. i don’t want to find out but i know i’ll have to.
fuck that, hannah. you honestly want me to go through life without ever kidding you? i’ve told you before that i don’t think i can. god, i hate you. ihateyouihateyouihateyou. you don’t even give a shit. if you did, i’d still be writing songs about holding your hand. i can’t write anymore, hanny. your words were the ones spilling out of the pen, not my own. now that you’ve stopped speaking to me, i don’t have anything to say. i hate you. i love you. i cannot believe it has come to this point. i hate you.
i hate you because falling in love with you was the easiest thing i ever did, but the hardest thing i ever did was learning to breathe again after you decided to change your mind.