• change

    by  • July 1, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Dating • 0 Comments

    I don’t know why I didn’t see this coming. It was almost the exact same situation with Patrick. I feel very stupid for not realizing and protecting myself. I wish I knew what your intentions were before I had sex with you. I cant believe I did that I can’t believe you were my first. I’m really wishing that I didn’t right now. This really sucks. Maybe I am just over reacting but I gave you the benefit of the doubt because you had a very important week but I’m starting to you are no longer interested. I feel as though I’m not good enough and I will never be. Its not your fault I feel this way I should have protected myself. I knew better and I didn’t listen to my gut. So I guess its time to move on or something like that. I don’t know how to make myself someone who somebody would actually want. I thought I did a good job with not being needy or clingy but I forgot about not making myself too available. All of these dating rules are too much to keep up with. I want to be done dating for awhile but I know as soon as I get the attention I’m going to want it which makes it very hard. I am tired of feeling pathetic after every failed relationship. I wish I could be better at not being so hard on myself its something I struggle with everyday. I try so hard to be perfect even though I know it doesn’t exist. I also try to appease everyone else even as the expense of my own happiness. God please give my the strength to change and start putting myself first.

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