I know a secret.
You can’t keep one.
Not even when it is a very private matter. Not even when it’s about the one you want most. Not even when it’s a matter of life and death.
And it doesn’t take very much for a complete stranger to get you to pass along all you know. Let them show you just enough attention for them to get what they’re looking for, and you’ll reveal the most intimate details.
I know a secret. You can’t keep one.
But that’s not the secret I know. Anyone who knows you past your first few kisses knows you can’t keep a secret, since it only takes a few kisses to find out anything about anyone whom you kissed before. Each one of us has been stupid enough to think we’ll be different, that you’ll keep our confidences despite how bad you are about keeping secrets for anyone else. But we’re not all that surprised when we find out we’re like everyone else. You can’t keep our secrets either.
The real secret is that we’re supposed to keep that a secret, about how you can’t keep one. Even though everybody knows you can’t keep a secret, nobody is supposed to say so. Your unwillingness to keep a secret is supposed to be kept secret.
So supposedly you do nothing at all wrong when you violate a trust by spreading a secret. Yet we’re doing something terribly wrong if we disclose your secret that you can’t keep a secret. Absurd, but that’s the secret we’re really not supposed to let on that we know.
Alright, then let me tell you something we’ve all been bad about keeping secret from you. We all do know. Some of us have found out the hard way, but there isn’t anybody who doesn’t know that if we want something kept private, we’d best make sure you never find out.
Try to keep it secret that you don’t keep secrets, and you’ll have none to keep.