• i feel different around you

    by  • June 28, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Confession • 0 Comments

    There is this boy at work. He is a really sweet person to me so i don’t understand why everyone there calls him a dick. I just don’t see it. he seems kind, and he seems to have a pretty humorous personality. I am CONSTANTLY looking at him while i am working, sometimes i get distracted and forget my place. Whenever we talk…its like he is the only person in the room…in the world. We can joke around each other, and i can be myself and i can be pretty grateful for that. He brings joy to my days when he is there. and on the days that he isn’t…i just sit there and think about what he could be doing, wondering if…he misses me too. sometimes when we are talking, he will sneak a sticker on me. i would end up with a million stickers on my back. i mean so would he, so we’re even, haha. i remember once i placed a sticker on him, and he told me he went home and placed it on his pillow. for some reason, that made me feel many butterflies in my stomach. The other day we were talking about our friendship, or rather our ‘friendsheep’. I laughed harder than i should have…embarrassing…anyways! we were making baa noises for a while and my god it felt adorable. every moment with him is adorable. I always get fearful when he leaves to drop off a delivery because hey, that’s another 45 minutes without him. i will sit there, and wait for what seems like an eternity just to see him walk in. when i am around him…i feel happy, okay? i feel just happiness in general. and this happiness feeling has taught me that i may be falling for him in just the slightest way. but…i dare not let his actions fool me. For i know that it will never happen between us. i know that it will never happen. I’ll catch myself smiling when thinking about him, and have to stop. i will have to try to avoid screwing up our friendship. i wouldn’t want to scare him off or seem weird. I place it off as “We are just friends, friends make each other happy.” I hope one day i can forgive myself for not being the one for him. but its just the way life works. I know it will never happen…and i know it will always hurt…but i also know that my feelings will always be there. in the back of my heart, hidden like they always should be.

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