I wish we’d met for the second time sooner. I wish that I could say this to you directly.
You’re still one of my favorite people. You’re handsomer, more charming, and smarter than ever. I think it’s because you’ve grown into yourself while aging. I wish I could have watched this process as it occurred. I wish I could have helped somehow when things were difficult. You’ve emerged brilliant and stronger than ever. You’re more certain of your own tastes, ideas, and ways of moving. I delight in all of them and in the ease with which they resonate with my own.
I wish I could help you to attain everything you desire. I wish I could be there in the future when you need care and support. At the same time I’m certain that you don’t need my help. I think you’re perfect as you are now. Even if you’re leading a life that’s not entirely to your liking, I think that you’ll do what’s necessary to be content now and in the future. I hope that you’re increasingly surrounded by people you love who like and appreciate you as much as I do. I hope you find someone with whom you’ll have a relationship like ours that can easily be integrated into your everyday life. You deserve to drink coffee with someone who adores you just as often as I run the dishwasher.
I think you’ll be magnificent at 50. It saddens me to know that I probably won’t be there to see it. At the same time I know that our willingness to keep separate lives is part of the respect and care that we have for each other. I like that you’ve never asked me to live differently and that you appreciate choices I’ve made that keep me apart from you but make my life beautiful and rich in other ways.
If I believed in past of future lives I’d set one aside to spend together. As is, our meetings have been brief. I don’t want to forget a second of the time we’ve spent together. I hope that you know this and it brings you happiness somehow.
I don’t believe in gods or the power of prayer. I am certain that I will love you and wish you well for the rest of my life. At the same time I know that my doing so will make very little difference. I’m very glad to have met you.