I live in a highly capitalistic and competitive country. People are nice and friendly, but there is always an undercurrent of competition. Most people seem to want to feel like they are on top. Most people want to win.
When I was younger I felt competent, loyal, kind, intelligent, attractive, motivated, and happy. Life was full of a million possibilities and opportunities. Maybe that’s my ego talking, but I felt that I was a good person with a lot going for me and a lot to offer to those I loved.
The older I get, the more my sense of well-being, comfort, looks, and drive in life have slipped- drastically. I find it harder and harder to want to take care of myself because I no longer enjoy being around people.
I value my friendships and relationships much more than most others seem to. My experiences with others have been that, behind the façade of a smile, many people are exploitative and competitive and want to knock you down or use you up, or impress and dazzle you, and then move on with their lives when the friendship/relationship “fizzles out”. (Meaning, to me, that they don’t feel like putting in effort because they have getting anything they could have out of it).
Of course, there are plenty of people who are not like that, but apparently I am really bad at picking those people out. My naivete when it comes to others has been my biggest downfall in life.
My question is… does such a place exist where people are truly, truly supportive of one another? Where they don’t make fun of each other so much? Where people want to be equals instead of competitors/winners?
I have ZERO interest in the rat race. Sure, I’d like to feel well-liked, successful, beautiful, blah blah, but not at the expense of others, and NOT around people who are out to “win”, whatever the fuck that means. I don’t care about being “the most successful” or “the most beautiful” or the most anything. I want to be around people who treat me as a friend and equal, not as someone to put down to make them feel better about themselves, or someone who they can suck the life out of by playing games. I want to be successful but I also want the other people around me to be equally successful. I want to bring others up and keep them up along with myself, but often I find that those people do not care for the same for me.
Yeah, developing better boundaries and looking out for myself before others would do me a world of good.
Do I want too much? I often wonder if there a place… maybe a Scandinavian country… where people are better provided for (healthcare for all, good wages, more of an economic balance, etc.)… that is not so damn competitive. Someplace where people form lifelong friendships and relationships without all of shallow ties and selfishness that seem so prevalent where I live.
Does such a place exist or is it all just a fantasy?
Last thoughts and thanks for reading something so long… when I’ve met people from the United States, Germany, Russia, and some other countries they seem to embody this competitiveness that I’m talking about. People from countries like Denmark, Norway, Sweden, Australia, New Zealand seem less that way. Is there any truth to these perceptions that countries where everyone is well-provided for produce people who are more genuine and fair, or am I being unfair?