You are absolutely amazing to me in every way. You are a confident, thoughtful, sweet, considerate, trustworthy, faithful, gentleman.
Even though I haven’t told you, I absolutely love you. I love the way you argue, and the semantics games, and the silly things you do to keep yourself occupied. I love your singing, and your dancing, and how you just want me around sometimes.
I love that you aren’t ashamed of me, even when I am being stupid or overemotional or I’ve been drinking to much. I love how when I am anxious and panic-y, you aren’t condescending or rude, you just take my hand or reassure me, which helps me so much.. you make me feel safe. I love how you are calm and collected when I make a mistake, even when it is a big one and you just.. let it roll off your shoulders.
I am so sorry. I am so freakin sorry that I assume when I make a mistake you will hit me. I KNOW you won’t, you would never hit me, but I still feel the terror.
I am so sorry that I cannot sleep next to you unless I have strong medication or have been multiple days without sleep. I know this one really bothers you, and I wish I could fix it, but I just… can’t. I know you would never, but that does not stop my body from reacting to you.
I am so sorry that I cannot be normal sometimes. That I react like you are him, that I apologize for literally everything, and especially that I am not as strong as I should be. I want you to know that I am doing my best, and someday I WILL be alright. I am just not there yet.
Please, try to put up with my nonsense until then. You’re pretty fucking great.
“not just some girl”