• Money Can’t Buy Me

    by  • June 18, 2015 • * Safe for Work *, Family Stuff • 3 Comments

    I waited. I waited for minutes, for hours, for days. All I had was silence. And with the absence of your words, I took it as answer… or so I thought.

    I haven’t seen you in over 6 months. I haven’t heard from you in over 3 months. I’ve made numerous attempts to reach out to you and haven’t received a single word back. So this was my answer. Your silence was my release. Your lack of action was the ‘okay’ I needed to let go and start to heal, until yesterday.

    You sent a letter. Well, I shouldn’t say a letter. It was an envelope with a check. A check for $2,000 made out to Sallie Mae. See, Dad, that is what you don’t get. It’s not about the money. It never was.

    You’ve done this ever since you came back into my life. You would screw up one way or another then fill my gas tank, or give me a Kohl’s gift card or take me out to eat. You can’t buy me. I don’t need your money and I never will. What I need or needed was a father in my life. I needed that stability growing up and even today.

    I can’t believe you have the audacity to disappear out of my life then send me a check out of no where. And you just think that I will cash it and things will be okay? Again, you can’t buy me. What I wanted from you, money can’t buy.

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    3 Responses to Money Can’t Buy Me

    1. iunderstand
      June 20, 2015 at 4:55 pm

      This is touching and true and I do believe that it would be best for your to send this “unsent” letter to your dad. He hurt you and he ought to know that. Maybe it will make him change, and understand the way you feel. It’s the same for me. Talking about that will make your heart lighter. But talk to him. Leave a “message in a bottle”. He will reach out to you if he decides to finally listen to your wishes, your regrets, your anger, your feeling of injustice somehow. He just needs to know. Send him this letter; It is beautifully written, it speaks the truth. It is what you and him are. Whatever his answer might be, at least, he will have the opportunity to understand what has be done and what can be changed. Be brave and remember you are amazing and you are strong enough to show your feelings.




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    2. Britney
      June 21, 2015 at 2:00 pm

      I agree. You should express to him how you feel. Even if it is hurtful to him he still needs to understand you. He might not even realize his behavior is damaging.

      From personal experience i also must prepare you that although you spill your heart out in attempt to possibly create change, you could be met with resistance due to denial on the parents end. If so just remember that you tried your best and that you did nothing wrong by allowing him to know. It is not your fault that he knows and chooses to ignore a problem. Dont let this change you into repeating his actions to your own children. Break that cycle. Be smarter than him.

      I hope everything works out for you. Be thankful you have anything. Some kids dont have a parent and no money either. Or like me you coulda had present parents ignore you and have no money. I know it still sucks and its not fair or right but you just have to accept that it is how it is because of them and move on with your life.

      Big hug to you
      Sincerely
      Britney




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    3. Author
      June 24, 2015 at 6:11 am

      Thank you both for your kind words and advice. I’ve never ‘written’ out my feelings until my relationship with my father went sour… again. I have always just held in my anger, hurt and sadness, but this time I knew I had to release some how.

      I did end up sending a short note to him. With the note was his check. I said:
      It’s not about the money. I haven’t seen you in over six months, heard from you in three and any attempt I make to contact you goes ignored. What I wanted from you money cannot buy and you seem unwilling to give – that is a real father-daughter relationship.

      He should receive my letter today. We will see what happens. Unfortunately, I have learned over and over not to have any expectations of him so this will be no different. Thank you again for your support!




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